finally ; vkook

one ◇ i kissed a boy and i liked it

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."

✖✖✖

"Did I wake you up?" He whispered softly, making me smile and hold my phone closer to my ear. I chuckled, "You didn't. I couldn't sleep anyway."

Taehyung sighed. "Are you still having trouble falling asleep? I wish I could come over and help you." His words made me blush slightly, his voice calming me down so much that I suddenly felt very, very tired. "I'm sure I could sleep a lot better if you were here," I yawned, "Hey, I don't want you to stay up this late either, you'll be too tired tomorrow, er, today. I-I'll see you in school, okay?"

"Okay," he whispered, "Good night, Jungkook. I love you." I blushed at the last sentence and smiled, "Good night, Taehyung. I love you, too."

x x x

After I had hung up, I fell asleep instantly. Taehyung had such a calming effect on me; he made me feel safe even when he wasn't next to me. Nobody else had ever made me feel this warm inside. And when I say nobody, I mean absolutely nobody. I wonder if he felt the same way..? I sure hoped so.

At school, I did not mind at all the weird stares of the students. All of them knew about my suicide attempt and of course, they thought it was absurd and didn't like me. I didn't mind. That was, as long as Taehyung didn't stop liking me.

When I spotted Taehyung at his locker, I immediately walked to him, smiling brightly. "Hyung!" He looked at me, as he took a book out of the locker before closing it.

"Hey, Jungkook, good morning. Um, can we talk for a moment, somewhere alone? Not with people around, and, yeah, you know, alone." He asked, sighing. I raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway. What did he want to talk about?

He looked at me shortly before turning around and starting to walk. I followed him for a few minutes before we arrived at a spot behind the school with nobody else around. He stopped and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, looking at me.

"Listen, Jungkook, I really, really like you, but um, can we, maybe, you know, not make this relationship public? I don't think I'm yet ready to come out as, eh, yeah, gay, to anyone." He said, the lightest shade of red visible on his cheeks. I smiled and nodded. "Of course."

At that moment, I hadn't realized how hard that would actually be. It meant not touching Taehyung too obviously, it meant not standing closely next to him, it meant hiding our relationship from even my best friend. It was hard to endure, but I couldn't let Taehyung down now; he wasn't ready and I accepted that. I wasn't going to force him to do anything he didn't like, or wasn't ready to do.

x x x

I was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Now that I was thinking about it, this was far more realistic than the dream I'd had when I was in a coma. In the dream, Taehyung didn't mind hugging or kissing me even though in reality, he'd never been a person that would do those things so easily. In the dream, nothing embarrassed Taehyung or made him feel ashamed, even though in reality, the simplest things could make him feel like that. In the dream, everybody accepted us for being gay and a couple, but in reality, it wasn't going to be so easy. Yes, my parents, Jimin and Hoseok all knew since they've read my diary (for which I'm still mad at them; you should never read someone's diary, no matter the situation. It's just not right.). But, for example, his parents didn't know, nobody at school knew.

There was going to be trouble, I realized, there were...quite a few homophobes at school. But I was certain I would never let anyone hurt Taehyung, and I was hoping he felt the same about me. It'd just be really bad if his parents didn't accept him. But they were so nice, I could never imagine them like that.

I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands before sitting up. Why couldn't that dream be reality? That dream was wonderful, amazing. Reality is harsh, terrible. It hurt to accept this fact, but eventually everyone had to face it.

I sighed. I hoped Taehyung wouldn't get scared of that and back out of this but I really wouldn't blame him if he did. After all, it was indeed dangerous.

"Jungkook!" My mom called from downstairs. I got up and walked to the door to open it. "Yes?"

"Come downstairs, you have a guest." She answered and giggled. Giggled? There was only one person it could be, then. A wide smile on my face, I ran down the stairs so fast, I was practically flying towards Taehyung, who was standing right in front of them, smiling at me. "Taehyung, hi. I, uh, didn't know you were coming over."

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that.. I just really wanted to see you." He said, scratching the back of his head. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. "I'm happy that you're here."

"Boys, why don't you go upstairs? Dinner will be ready soon; I'll call you downstairs then." My mom said, grinning at me. Boy, it was almost as if she was more happy about me having a boyfriend than I was. Almost.

"Oh, uh, sure." I said, looking at Taehyung to see if he was okay with it. He nodded. I turned around and walked back up the stairs, Taehyung following me.

In my room, Taehyung looked around until his gaze stopped at the piano in the corner. "You play piano?" He asked, looking at me. I shrugged. "Kind of, I guess." He smiled, "Play something for me?"

I guess I didn't mind, since I loved playing the piano even if it wasn't anything special; I wasn't too good but I wasn't bad either.

I sat on the chair in front of the piano and started playing a song I used to be obsessed with; 'I kissed a girl' by Katy Perry. It was a very old song but I'd always loved it, even when I hadn't understood what it was about.

When I was done, Taehyung clapped a few times and I turned around to see him smiling at me. "You're awesome, Jungkook." He said and I blushed. "Oh please, I'm not that good."

Taehyung sighed and walked towards me. I stood up and we looked into each other's eyes for a short moment, before he wrapped his arms around me. I smiled, hugging him back. He smelled good, I couldn't really describe how but I loved his scent. The warmth of his body against mine made me feel all bubbly and warm inside. I could've stayed like this all day, but unfortunately, my mom called us downstairs for dinner.

x x x

After dinner, Taehyung and I decided to watch a movie in my room. It was a Star Wars movie and even though I loved Star Wars, I was more interested in my boyfriend who was sitting next to me on my bed. My head was resting on his shoulder, his hand holding mine, our fingers laced together.

None of us said a word as the movie played on the TV in front of us. I looked up at him and smiled when I saw how focused he was on the movie.

I gave his hand a squeeze, making him look at me. He smiled and pulled his hand away from mine to put it around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. I loved being so close to him, just us sitting next to each other. It felt perfect.

After the movie was over, Taehyung pulled his arm away from me, stretching. He glanced at the clock and sighed. "It's getting late, I should go home."

We got up and went downstairs, where he put on his shoes. I opened the door for him and he was just about to leave when he suddenly turned around, grabbing my hand. He came closer until our lips connected shortly; a few seconds at maximum. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as he smiled, before he turned back and left. I stood there for at least ten minutes, staring outside as the door was wide open, before I started smiling, still blushing. I silently closed the door, before going back upstairs, into my room.

Taehyung had just kissed me. It was short but that didn't matter; it was still there and I loved it much more than I'd always imagined. Boy, I sure hoped we'd kiss more often in the future...