Love Factually #JustWriteIt

1) Wreck Of The Day

I thought that I'd experienced true heartbreak before but that ache was nothing compared to what I was currently feeling. Back then I was sad and pissed all at the same time, but this time there were no words to describe my predicament and I didn't know if I was going to survive it. I wasn't sure how I'd get over all the butterflies in my stomach dying. Because that's how this breakup felt, like all the butterflies just died.

***

I sat up in bed thinking about the day that lay ahead. It had been two weeks since Katie had dropped her bombshell and even though I'd said that I was doing fine, I really wasn't. I was barely coping. Some might even call me a wreck.

Although all that I wanted to do was stay in bed for the next three months and grieve for all that I'd lost, I knew that it was an unrealistic goal. So, I set out to get myself ready to leave my sanctuary and hoped to God that I'd somehow find the strength to face the day and whatever awaited me.

I forced myself to put first one foot, then the other onto the ground and wobbled a bit the way you do when you've been in the same position for so long that your body forgets what exactly it's supposed to do now, shook my legs out and left the room.

"Hey, love," Hailey, my one true friend, in fact my only friend, said when I walked into the kitchen to get some caffeine into my system. "You're up early."

"And you're here," I said, forcing a smile as I poured myself a cup of coffee from the pot that she'd just brewed. "Why am I not surprised?"

Hailey and I were roommates in college. We'd met in our freshman year and have been practically attached at the hip since, although I've been known to have tried on numerous occasions to undo our friendship.

It wasn't that she was annoying or even that I didn't like her, I just preferred to be by myself, that way I wouldn't have to deal with the devastation that comes with losing someone that took up a huge chunk of my heart. I didn't ever want to feel that kind of pain again, but fate as usual had other plans and try as I might, Hailey and I always found our way back to each other.

She unscrewed her highlighter's cap and got to work basically coloring half her textbook before turning to me. "Well, you didn't text me back last night, what was I supposed to do?"

"Not use the key that I gave you for emergencies, to break into my house."

"It's not breaking in if I have a key, stupid," she muttered, turning another passage an ugly lime green color. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I said, letting the lie roll off my tongue. "For the thousandth time, I really am."

I took my final sip of coffee and headed to the sink to wash the cup. I turned on the tap and let the hot water blast my hands. I should've pulled them away or tried to regulate it to something warmer, but I needed to feel a different kind of pain. I wanted to be distracted even if it was only for a minute so that my mind wouldn't have any time to wander to Brian. I was sick and tired of the way it was so one tracked that it always found a way to incorporate thoughts of him into everything.

I couldn't read a book without remembering how much he too loved reading and how we'd sometimes have our own little contests to see who had the resilience to stomach the other's favorite genre. I was more of a fantasy girl while he preferred documentaries and autobiographies. Needless to say, I usually lost those by a stretch.

I couldn't even eat without thinking of how he liked to add an extra helping of salt to his dishes just because he knew how much it pissed me off and how he'd rile me up and then took pleasure in calming me down.

He was the only person that I didn't hate fighting with, just because I knew that we'd always find a way to make it right before the night was over, because he couldn't sleep knowing that we were mad at each other―because our love was so strong, there was nothing that could have torn us apart.