Worthless ✧ s.m

Chapter 14

Jessica's POV:

I spent about 25 minutes in the library crying to myself, just letting everything out. I received about 4 messages from Mia asking where I am and what not but I just don't feel like I have the strength to talk to anyone right now, but I felt bad 'cuz while Mia was worrying about me I'm just ignoring her.

The Text Messages:
M~ Mia
J~ Jess

M: Jess where you at?

M: Jess I heard what happened in the hallway, are you okay?

M: Jess c'mon I'm worried now😥

M: Jess please respond.

I decided to just text her back so she won't worry about me, not like she should I'm just worthless.

J: yeah I'm okay Mia everything's fine😕

She responded back almost immediately.

M: oh thank god Jess you were worrying me! Where are you? You're not in class. Please tell me.

J: I'm in the schools library Mia, everything's fine I promise.

M: ok I'll be there in just a second hold on.

J: Mia you're in class right now, I'm fine I promise.

But she didn't text back. After about five minutes I hear someone calling my name walking through the door, it's Mia. "Jess?" She whisper yells. "Yeah?" I ask looking up from my knees.

"Oh Jess." She says rushing over to me and sitting down next to me. She hugs me tightly and I can't help but start to cry. "It's ok Jess, let it out. I'm here." She says stroking my hair. No. No I'm not going to cry for something someone said, I know it's not true. I'm better than this, I know I am. I know that Shawn didn't mean, I know he didn't. I just shook my head.

"No." I sniffle. "I'm not going to let what someone says about me affect me, especially this much. I'm better than this and I know for a fact that Shawn didn't mean it." I stated.

"Looks like Shawn's man period is lasting longer than we thought." She says, we both looked at each other and started laughing until someone shushed us. That just made us laugh even harder.

"C'mon Jess don't let what people say get to you. You are an amazing person, and you should see that. Now get your ass up and let's get to class, I told the teacher that I was going to the bathroom about 20 minutes ago." She says and we both laughed. "But I didn't tell her which one though." She smirks, I just chuckle. "Mia you rebel." I joke and laugh. "I know." She smiles brightly.

She got up and motioned her hand in front of me. Once she pulled me up we walked out the library with our arms clutched together. When we finally reached the class door I hesitated. "Can I just stay outside until the bell rings please?" I ask. "No Jess c'mon please." She begged.

"But I don't want to go inside." I whisper making sure we weren't too loud. Mia just sighed. "Fine Jess, I'll be waiting by your locker when the bell rings. But I swear to the food gods if that Skyler bitch does one more shit to you I'll squash her fake boobs." She smiles. I can't stand but laugh at Mia's remarks. She always makes me feel better at hard times. It reminds me of Shawn, he always made these dumb remarks which sometimes didn't make sense but always found a way to make me smile. And just him going on and on about muffins. I miss that Shawn, a lot actually. I just sigh and waved to Mia while she walked away and entered the classroom.

(Let's just skip to lunch)

When I walked inside the cafeteria I was looking for Mia but the only people I saw were Shawn and Skyler. I didn't realize I was staring until Mia nudged my arm.

"You're staring." She whispers. I quickly turn my head to a different direction to stop making eye contact with both Shawn and Skyler. Mia grabbed my arm and led me to a table. It was only us two since Shawn is being an asshole all of a sudden. Every time I was talking to Mia I couldn't help but gaze over to Skyler and Shawn so Mia had to keep snapping me back to focus every once in a while. But all of a sudden I felt my eyes getting watery. "Why did he do this Mia?" I ask facing her while a tear stains my cheek.

"Did what?" she asks taking a sip from her soda. "Why is he acting like this? Something's wrong with Shawn! I know there is!" I say trying not to yell. She just sighed. "I don't know Jess, but I miss the old Shawn too." She sighed again playing with my hair.

After calming myself down Mia and I were talking about whatever we can think of. We were just laughing and joking around until I felt something cold on me. I looked up and see basically everyone in the cafeteria laughing except for Mia.

"You know the milk hides your ugly away better than all that makeup does." Skyler stated while laughing. "At least she doesn't have to cake her face up like you." Mia says taking a bite from her cupcake.

"Mia just leave it." I sigh. "No Jess I'm not going to just 'leave it', she's being a bitch to you for no fucking reason. And you Shawn what the hell happened?" Mia says glaring at Shawn. "He found out that hanging out with you two was a joke." Skyler states. "And what are you?" Mia says facing Skyler.

I stand up quickly and take Mia's arm. I drag her out of the cafeteria but she seems mad. "Mia it's okay, I'm fine just leave it. She's a bitch, that's who she is, but I deserve it." I say trying to calm her down. "No you don't Jess! She's rude that's the thing and I'm tired of all her bullshit." She says, I sigh and nod.

We go back inside the cafeteria with people still pointing and laughing at me, I actually forgot I had milk all over me. "What's so funny?!" Mia yells and glares at everyone who's laughing. Everyone stops laughing and returns to what they were doing as we sit back down at our table. While I saw taking a seat I see Skyler from the corner of my eye looking at me and smirking. She places her hand on top of Shawn's thigh. Girl get your nasty hands off his thigh. Shawn shifts up. He looks uncomfortable but I shouldn't care anymore. Yeah you should. No I shouldn't. Yeah you should. No I shouldn't. God damnit shut up.

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After school was over I have absolutely no fucking clue where I'm going to stay now. Apparently Shawn doesn't want me to stay there. But my stuff is there. Fuck it I'm going.

Once I reach Shawn's front door I ring the doorbell. Mrs. Mendes opens the door with a smile. "Hey sweetie." She smiles.

"Hey Mrs. Mendes." I say returning the smile. "So how's everything?" I ask taking a seat on the couch.

"Everything's good honey how about you? everything's fine?" She asks. Depends what your definition of 'fine' is.

"Um yeah just that Shawn and I got into a little argument that's all." I try to smile but she frowns.

"Why what's wrong?" She frowns taking a seat by me. I should tell her, right?

"Um I don't particularly know." I sigh. "Shawn just changed, well towards me at least." I finish saying.

"Would you like me to speak with him?" She smiles trying to comfort me. I shake my head.

"No it's fine, but thank you Mrs. Mendes." I say.

"It's okay sweetie, and call me Karen." She smiles. There was an awkward silence between both of us.

"Can I go upstairs please?" I ask, she nods. I go upstairs and knock on Shawn's door. No answer. "Shawn?" I open the door. No one's in here. Once I walked in I noticed that the room is neatly organized I chuckle to myself thinking that at least the organized part of Shawn hasn't changed. I go towards my bed and just lay down looking up at the ceiling, trying to just get away from everything. My only relief is to sleep. When I'm sleeping, I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not lonely, I'm nothing. That quote describes my situation perfectly right now and always actually have, I just feel like a nothing. I've always been a nothing and always will be a nothing.