Beautiful Killer

Angry Pleasure

Christmas, the worst holiday of the year. Its so stupid, so pointless. This day brings back so many memories, good and bad.

When I was younger I would celebrate it but now...it's just another day. Four years ago on this day, ruined my entire life. It was made me what I am today - with the thanks of Niall.

In my room, I stare into the mirror on my dresser. The years have gone by quickly and has effected my appearance. My hair is much longer than it was before I changed. Instead of being filled with life and happiness, my eyes only show darkness and death. My face has gotten slimmer, but I've grown significantly in height.

On the nightstand, lays my mail, all with the name Mason Connors written on them. It was my false identity for the past few years, given to me by that blond idiot down stairs. Even though he and I argue a lot, we always have stuck together. He was more of a brother to me, an madly, idiotic brother.

Even though I have him to go to when I'm feeling like shit, sometimes it's never enough. It's not like he would give me a glass of milk and read me a story until my worries were gone, and I was asleep. I'm an adult, and I have to figure out how to make myself feel better again. No matter what it was, I could always figure out how to take my mind off of a certain subject and to help my emotions. Whether it was watch a movie, cooking, sleeping, or swimming in my pool, I would do it. Unfortunately, neither of those would work for me tonight.

I needed something that would wipe my mind clear of what happened in my past, even if it was just for the night. I know how it looks. Me holding a grudge for four years must seem silly, but remember, I am and unstable person. I could be calm one minute and then if something happens, I could lose my shit the next. Plus, I have always had a hard time in letting go of grudges. That's just not my thing.

Maybe tonight, I could leave, and go have some fun. I mean, maybe some beer won't hurt and getting some ass definitely won't either. I would do anything to just feel numb tonight. Perhaps I could go somewhere quite special and fun tonight.

An idea popped into my head. It seemed crazy and completely opposite of what I had plan on doing towards this particular subject, but I just need something to ease my pain and anger. I need to do it. It's the only way for me to feel like I'm going to make it through the days until the twenty-fifth.

I walk away from my mirror and over to my closet. I dress myself in dark, blue, jeans, and a red, flannel, shirt, as well as my black, low cut, boots. On top of my shirt, I pull on a warm coat that would protect my torso from the cold, December, air. My body starts to get hot, but soon that will change. I fix my hair a little and comb it back, before I leave my room and travel down the stairs.

I see Niall, laying on the couch with Evelyn still asleep in the same spot that she was when I left her. He sits by her feet, and he's obviously ignoring the television and looking at her. I guess he's checking to see if she's still alive. When he hears my footsteps enter the room, his attention snaps to me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask, just to make sure I'm right.

"O-Oh shit, um-" He begins and I raise one of my eye brows. "I was seeing if she was okay, that's all. She has been sleeping for like three hours, mate."

"Let her sleep then. I want her healthy and alive. I'm sure she hasn't gotten much rest lately." I state and begin to walk towards the door. I start entering in the code to unlock the door, and Niall asks me question.

"Where the fuck are you going? I think all of the stores are closed now."

"Just . . . out. I want to be completely to myself for a bit. I might go out and see if there are any pubs open at this time. Just, please watch Evelyn. I don't want anything happening to her, got it?"