Things are gonna get better

Chapter 4

Kim woke me up at 5 fucking clock in the fucking morning.  I groaned and really wanted some heroin. But I didn't have any.

I covered my face with the pillow.  I heard her leave.  Then I heard my uncles voice.

"Kurt, I know you're not used to our time schedule.  And I know you're going to be withdrawing soon. It is going to be bad and hard. But I need you to try to wake up with us. You can take naps when you need. Come on breakfast will help."

I pulled myself up and changed clothes after they left the room. I looked myself over at all the scars, and the needle marks. And I could see my ribs.  I sighed.  And headed down the stairs I could smell food it smelled really good.

I sat at the table across from uncle Owen. He was having a cigarette and so I got one I noticed my hands felt weak I didn't understand.  I hoped that this wasn't the start of withdraws and it wasn't going to be as bad as everyone says.

I poured a cup of coffee. Black as my soul.  Chad and Brianna came down. And sat on either side of me.  They grabbed food like ravenous animals. I slowly picked at two sausage links and a pancake.

"Cousin Kurt why weren't you in your guest room? Huh? The spiders were sad to not meet you."

"Chad! What did I tell you about pranks! Go milk the cows!" Uncle Owen chided.

I shuddered at the thought of spiders.  I suddenly was even less hungry.   Kim came down. And sat on the other side of Brianna. 

"Kurt, would you like to go gather eggs with me today? It's not easy, those hens are mean"

"Sure, I like chickens. " I tried to smile but like I felt this itch in my entire body.

Kim finished her breakfast. I helped clear the dishes for washing later.

We walked out to the coup.  I could hear them. I got excited and ran ahead with my basket. I walked in and they surrounded me.

"Hello ladies" I pet them all.

"Wait Wait  there is enough time to pet you all" I giggled. Kim came in.

"Wow they love you!" 

"I told you, I love chickens" I giggled and  picked one up and sat it on my shoulder like a parrot.   We collected all the eggs. In about 15 minutes. I put my chicken I fondly named squish down.
We walked to the house. Uncle Owen was gone.

"Where is Uncle owen?"

"Oh papa is tilling the fields  he won't be back until lunch " I nodded.  I felt more and more anxious as the time went on kind of like when you shake a bottle.  I started to cry.

"Hey are you okay kurt?" Kim asked puzzled. I shook my head no.

" what's wrong?" I couldn't speak all of a sudden. I just needed some time I grabbed my journal and ran out back to the garden. 

I wrote a love letter to Courtney that I probably would never send.

                                *********

I woke up once again it was the third day of being here... I still have had no drugs.  I was irritable and I couldn't stop shaking.  This time I couldn't get out of bed. I was too weak.  I barely choked out to Kim,

"H-help I-I cant-t move."

She ran over and saw my shaking, and she felt my head and gasped.

"I'm gonna go get papa." She ran away and I was in so much pain  I started wretching and threw up over the side of the bed.  I started to cry. Uncle Owen ran in and saw everything.

"I-m s-s-s sorryyy" He shushed me. Kim mopped up the bile I had vomited.  Uncle Owen took the blankets off me because of my fever and sat me up.  He held a little water to my lips and I drank as best I could.

"We need to get you out of these clothes and into the tub to cool down that fever."

"N-no!" I suddenly thought of the scars and cuts and abrasions all over my body and was ashamed.

"Now Kurt,  you're gonna have some real damage done if you don't let me take this fever down. Kim best give some privacy." Kim left as he started undressing me. I weakly tried to fight I didn't want him to the all that.

He got my shirt off and gently gasped and shut his eyes.  He pulled me Closer and cradled me like I was thw most delicate thing he'd ever witnessed.  He wasn't usually a soft man but I could tell he really felt bad for me and so I did the only thing I could and cried.

He basically carried me as I shuffled my feet along to the bathroom he drew a mostly cold bath, just warm enough not to send my body into shock. He helped me take off my socks and jeans and helped me into the tub I laid there and trembled.  He walked out without a word.

I saw Chad peak in around the corner.  I groaned and shut my eyes really scared of what he'd try to do. He came in and just barely moved to look at him.

"Kurt,  what's wrong ? Where'd you get all those marks? We're you in the war?" I shook my head no but couldn't actually answer him. Kim rushed in.

"Chad! Leave him alone can't you see he feels sick? " she ushered him out And sat with me  until the hour was up. Then she fished me out and put a night gown, a literal gown, on me. She explained it was because it was very cool and breathable for my fever.

She helped me back to my bed. She gave me a little bit of broth my hands were shaking too bad to hold it so she helped me. I laid down after my broth and looked up and the ceiling was crawling. I was starting to hallucinate. I was really scared.  She sat by me and rubbed my hair until I went to sleep.