Interlinked

Three

Evangeline

It's been about a week since the party. I've begun to slowly adjust to my new schedule, and everything has been running as smoothly as I am capable of. A few hangovers and missed classes, but overall I've been having a good time. Only outside of my dorm though, there, it is thick with a tension in which I can't comprehend the start of. Blaire is a quiet and kept-to-herself kind of girl, which isn't hard to catch on to. Yet, I thought we had gotten along pretty well. Since the party she has been not so discreetly avoiding me at all cost. Not in your regular "I'm shy," kind of way but in more of a "fuck you, don't speak to me."

She's in and out of the dorm quickly , avoids eye contact, and is refusing to communicate with me whatsoever . Which, I am aware that I can come on strong to someone new, but the whole situation is confusing. I refuse to concern myself with whatever sort of negativity she has conspired against me. If she wants an awkward year, that's what she's going to get.

It's later in the day, I've finished with my last class and met up with Dara on the walk back to my dorm. "You wanna hang out?" She asks, whilst not paying full attention to me. Rather distracted by her weekly fling texting her an embarrassing amount of heart eyes, and explicit messages I'd rather fall off a cliff than read. "Sure, your dorm? My roomies' being odd." I groan at the remembrance.  She juts her overly glossed bottom lip into a pout. "Awh, I was kinda hoping to see her." I pause briefly, a disgusted look churning at my facial features. "You are not fucking my roommate. Plus, I'm not sure if she's even gay." She gives me a deadpanned look and throws her hands in a "So what," sort of gesture.  I roll my eyes and mumble a small "whatever," under my breath as we begin to tread closer to the door that opens to nothing more than awkward and half-assed attempts at small talk. I glance at Dara and hesitate before going inside. An unsettling feeling of nervousness swims in my gut. Something I'm not used to experiencing. 

Upon entering, I notice Blaire tucked away in a fetal-like position with her Kindle cradled between both of her hands. She jolts upright at the sound of Dara addressing her. "Hi Blaire." She attempts, only to get a small mumble of a word I could barely make out as "Hello", before the girl returns to her prior position. I send Dara a knowing look whilst her brows were furrowed in offense. "Don't take it personally, she hates me too." I claim, loud enough for Blaire to hear. As expected, no response.

Dara and I sit across from each other as I'm doing her eyeliner. We had been discussing our classes and professors, who in which is the most attractive, and other absent minded conversations to entertain us and substantiate our need for gossip. I notice Blaire shift around here and there, which has been the only sign that she was still with us. I had begun to think back on Dara and I's earlier conversation regarding her.
"Blaire?" I question, which causes the girl to switch from her prior position to acknowledge me. "Yeah?" A tone of mild irritation leaving her. "Out of curiosity, are you gay? Or under the umbrella at all? You sort of give off bisexu.."
I was cut off by her sitting up fully in defense. "Why are you asking me that? It's none of your business." My eyes widen a fraction before I open my mouth to explain myself, but before I could, she was slipping on a pair of shoes and exiting the small space. Even in her outburst she hadn't slammed the door. Dara looks at me, and then the door she had just left, utter confusion written in between glances. "Tough crowd?" I shrug, clear bewilderedness in my tone. "Do you think she's homophobic?" Dara whispers, as if Blaire was ready to pounce any second from behind the door.
We break into a fit of laughter which helps soothes the random shift in mood.
The rest of our hangout I find my thoughts drifting back to the peculiar interaction. I know that asking an obnoxiously heterosexual male if he is gay is like begging for an argument. Even more likely, you'll be granted with a plethora of insults that make you reconsider your worth as a living, breathing person. Blaire though? Totally unexpected. This hate game is quickly growing old though.

I hear the a quiet click of the door being opened amongst my scrolling, and shift my attention to that direction. Blaire slips through the door, an unreadable-like blankness to her face as she slips off her shoes and heads to the bathroom. I wait in slight impatience as I hear the sound of water hitting the porcelain tile that made up the floor of our shower. I want to confront to her, a measly attempt at soothing the wall between us. It had never been my intention to offend or make her uncomfortable.
She leaves the bathroom clothed in a brown tank-top and shorts styled pajama set, which was adorned with small white dots. She reminded me of a fawn. A very moody fawn.
"Blaire, why have you been so avoidant towards me?" I start, my tone coming off a tad too hostile than what I had practiced a few moments ago. "What do you mean?"
I exhale, my lack of patience already attempting to crawl its way up my throat.
"You haven't been talking to me; even looking at me as a matter of fact, and God forbid I do speak to you."

Her eyebrows etch together. "Or, I just haven't been giving you the answers or attention that you apparently so desperately seek." My face began to heat at the rapid pace at which my annoyance with the girl was forming. I pause a minute, and so does she. Her chest rising and falling faster than it had been before. "Genuinely, what is your issue?" My voice straining and rising in volume by the end of my question.
Something flickers between her eyes as she opens her mouth, before closing it just as abruptly. Sadness? Guilt? Pure rage? I couldn't decipher the exact emotion she was observing me with. Another beat passes and she takes a deep breath as her shoulders slump slightly.
"This isn't worth an argument." In which I assume we agree as she slumps into her bed, and I attempt to calm myself and get comfortable in mine as well.

Blaire

The next morning I lie awake, jumbled amidst the overwhelming amount of emotions within me. I know I'm being irrational, yet, I couldn't exactly pinpoint why. It's been yet another week of not speaking with Eva. Though, not because of her. She has attempted to break the ice on several occasions, and all of which I had ignored.
I'm startled by the gentle pinging of my ringtone. Glancing at my phone, I take a deep breath as I watch "Mom" light up the screen. Eva notices my hesitation to answer. A knowing look of curiosity on her face. Clearly eager to indulge in whatever drama I have going on in my nonexistent social life. She had woken up around the same time as me. Rather than being quiet and considerate, she had been on the phone with multiple different people. All the conversations seeming rather shallow and meaningless. In a brisk moment I swipe to answer and make my way to the bathroom door, which I close upon entry.
"Hello?" I mutter hesitantly. "Hi! How have you been? I feel like I haven't spoken to you in ages!" My mother exclaims from the other end.

I smile gently, "I've been okay, how are you?" She goes on about her daily life. The strange loneliness that has filled our small, two bedroomed home. She mentions Dad, and how his rigorous work schedule has been beginning to annoy her and fill her life with bore. Not to mention her not-so-new advance in her walk with Jesus. I let her go on, knowing it's better than the excessive questioning I was going to receive shortly. "Have you been reading your Bible?" She asks, her tone light, but not light enough to cover the accusatory tone hidden beneath. "Of course," I hum in a gentle response. I hadn't.

"I know college tries to push a certain agenda upon our youth. Remember to always deny, let them know that our Father is always watching." I cringe at her ongoing rant knowing she was addressing the "try everything once" and "what happens here stays here" mindset. The rest of our conversation goes on, slightly excruciating per usual. We swap "I love you" and I promise to keep up with her and my relationship with God before hanging up the phone. With a deep breath I exit and notice Eva glance up in my direction. I look at her for a moment, a small part of me wanting to communicate, but my mothers' words rang in my head. A not-so gentle reminder. So, instead, I continue my walk to my desk where I begin studying for my Literature assignment.

"I'm going to be out the rest of today, don't wait up." I hum gently at the break in silence. A response I knew she wouldn't be pleased with.
Eva left and came back hours later, the clock read "1:42 am." The scuffing of feet outside the door, and a fumbling hand on the doorknob startled me out of falling asleep.