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Chapter 19 - The Distance Between Us

I kept asking myself the same question over and over again that night—why me?

Why would a man like Nick—eight years older, tall, broad, 6’2 with the kind of face and body that could make any woman melt—be so obsessed with me? He was everything I wasn’t. A man already working, already shaping his life, while I was just a high school girl, still 16, 5’5, with messy thoughts and a world yet to explore.

Yes, I was beautiful, pretty even—but there were so many other girls out there. Girls his age. Girls who could keep up with him. So why me?

That question gnawed at me all through Christmas.

I ignored him. Blocked him on WhatsApp. Built walls so high that even his sharp eyes couldn’t climb them. Every time he tried to talk, I turned away. And yet… the walls only trapped me inside with his shadow. Because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

His gaze. His voice. The way he made me feel like every eye contact was a secret we were sharing. I kept replaying it, even when I didn’t want to.

When he finally left for New York, I told myself I’d feel free. But instead, I felt hollow.

Even when I blocked him, I still watched his Instagram. Even when I ignored him, I still longed for his eyes on me. I was scared—not of him hurting me, but of how much I wanted him to catch me.

I didn’t even go to the New Year’s bonfire. I couldn’t risk facing him again.

But then came January. Makar Sankranti. My first proper kite festival in States.

The terraces came alive—colors filling the sky, neighbors shouting, laughter echoing. I was on Vedika’s terrace, lost in the energy, when my eyes betrayed me.

There he was.

Nick.
On Raman’s terrace, in a red sweatshirt, glasses perched on his nose, hair messy in the winter breeze. He looked like he had stepped out of a movie scene—charming, unbothered, glowing under the sun. He held his spool and fought for his kite, but his eyes… his eyes were on me.

When our gazes locked, the world faded.

The children running around, the bets being shouted, the chaos of the festival—everything blurred until it was only him and me. His stare pinned me, scorching, steady, unblinking. He lost the kite but didn’t look away.

My lips curled into a nervous laugh, and when I did, he laughed back, like we were sharing some dangerous secret in the middle of the crowd.

I panicked and broke eye contact, but his gaze lingered in my veins like fire.

Later, everyone gathered on Vedika’s terrace for food and dancing. We were all laughing, eating, making reels. The terrace was crowded, but somehow, somehow, he was always near.When the group photo happened, I had no choice but to stand close to him—our arms brushing, his warmth bleeding into me. My heart stuttered. I could barely breathe.

Then Nikhil suggested a group reel, and fate pushed Nick right next to me. His hand brushed mine when the music started. That single innocent touch sent heat spiraling through me. My laugh came out too loud, my smile too wide. My body knew what my mind was trying to deny—he affected me in ways no one ever had.

That night, Vedika came over for dinner. I cooked dosas for her while Mom corrected tuition papers.

When Vedika mentioned casually that Nick had hurt his finger flying kites and couldn’t cook, my chest tightened. I hated that it mattered. I hated that I cared. But I did. Without a second thought, I packed dosas for him.

I told myself it was kindness. But it wasn’t. It was need.

When I knocked, his voice floated deep, teasing: “It’s open.”I stepped in. He was lounging on the couch, hair messy, looking unfairly good. His eyes lit up when he saw me, his lips curling into that smirk that always weakened my knees.

“So you do care,” he said softly, his voice cutting through the quiet. “I thought you only knew how to block, ignore, and run.”

I flushed. “Don’t act smart, Nick. I just… thought you’d be hungry.”

He raised an eyebrow, amused. “Did you make these?”

“Yes,” I muttered.

He stood, took the tiffin from my hand, and within minutes, the dosas were gone. My jaw dropped.

“Nick! Chew properly!” I scolded, but he only grinned with food still in his mouth.

Then he stepped closer. Too close. My back hit the wall as he leaned down slightly, his voice lowering into something dangerous, intimate. “Whatever you cook, Yamika… I’ll eat. Because it’s yours. You don’t get it, do you? You’ve ruined me. I can’t stop wanting you.”

My breath caught. His nearness overwhelmed me—his scent, his warmth, the hunger in his eyes. His words wrapped around me like chains I didn’t want to break free from.

“Nick…” my voice trembled, “this isn’t right.”

He tilted his head, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

“Right? Wrong? You think I care?” His voice dropped into a whisper, every word brushing against my skin. “You’re mine, Yamika. Even if you block me, even if you run, even if you say no—you’re already mine.”

I shivered, my chest rising too fast, too heavy. My heart pounded so loud I thought he could hear it.

His hand brushed against my hair, slow, almost reverent. His eyes burned into mine like he could see every secret, every desire I’d tried to bury.“Do you know,” he whispered, “how much I’ve missed you? Do you know how many nights I’ve stayed awake thinking about you? You haunt me, Yamika. You’re in my veins. You’re in every breath I take.”

My knees weakened. I wanted to push him away, but instead, I found myself leaning in, caught in his gravity.

It wasn’t a kiss. Not yet. But the tension between us burned hotter than any kiss could.

And then, at the last second, I broke.

“I need time,” I whispered, panicked, breathless. “I can’t—Nick, please—I need space.”

His jaw tightened, but his eyes softened. He pulled back, just an inch, his voice rough with restraint.

“Fine. Take your time. But remember this, Yamika—whether it’s today, or tomorrow, or years later… you’ll still be mine. Because I’ll never stop.”

I stumbled back, heart racing, body burning. That night, lying in bed, I could still feel him everywhere. The ghost of his touch, the heat of his words. I hated it. I loved it. I couldn’t escape it.

And the scariest part? I didn’t want to......