Messages I did not send you, Avery

The first time I saw you

The beach had that unique way of making you feel small, as if everything else faded away behind the endless horizon. That summer afternoon, the heat was dense, almost tangible, and the sun was beginning to set, bathing the sand in a golden hue that seemed to come from a dream. It was my favourite place, a corner where I could disappear amid the sound of the waves and the salty breeze. But that day, something changed. Or rather, someone.

She appeared without warning, as if she had always been destined to cross that landscape. She wore a white dress that seemed too light for the wind that was blowing, but that didn't seem to bother her. Her bare feet touched the sand with a softness that seemed otherworldly, as if she were floating rather than walking. There was something magnetic about the way she moved, a carefree tranquillity that didn't need to draw attention, but demanded it anyway.

I sat on the sand, my elbows resting on my knees, watching her approach without intention, unaware that she was taking my breath away. My friend Jake kept talking beside me, cracking a joke about something I didn't hear. My entire focus was on her. The breeze played with her hair, tossing it in all directions, and yet she looked perfect. She was beautiful, yes, but not the kind of beauty you simply admire. It was different. It was like a story you wanted to know, a book you wanted to open and read page after page.

I didn't realise I had been staring at her until she stumbled. It was a minor slip, nothing dramatic, but enough for her to fall to her knees in the wet sand by the water. The damp sand stuck to her white dress like little constellations of earth. I got up almost without thinking, my body moving faster than my mind. Beside me, Jake's voice cut off abruptly.

"Hey, Tom? Are you okay?"

I didn't answer him. I was already walking towards her.

"Are you all right?" I asked as I approached, holding out a hand that I hoped wasn't shaking too much.

She looked up, brushing a strand of light hair that the wind had blown into her face away, and that's when everything stopped. Her eyes weren't just blue or green: they were like the sea after a storm, a bright greenish-grey and full of a silent depth that caught me off guard.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied with a smile that disarmed any coherent thought, but seemed to warm the salty air around us. "Only my pride is a little bruised."

She took my hand—her skin was cool from the sea breeze, but her touch burned me—and as I lifted it, I felt the warmth of her skin, a touch that seemed to last longer than it actually did. She brushed the sand off her dress with a gentle pat and let out a laugh that sounded like a conch shell, a clear, free sound that mingled with the murmur of the waves.

"I don't think that rock wanted me here," she joked, pointing to a small stone hidden under the sand.

"Maybe not," I managed to say, catching my breath a little. "But I think the wave did. I saved you before it got you completely wet."

Her laugh grew deeper, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I had said exactly the right thing. Something about her made me feel invincible.

"Thank you, saviour. I'm Avery."

Her name came off her lips and stuck with me not as a sound, but as a feeling: Avery. Soft and firm at the same time, like the sand beneath our feet.

"Tom," I replied, and my name, so common and familiar, sounded new when I said it to her.

We walked a little after that, our shadows stretching out in front of us, sometimes merging into the sand. We talked about simple things: how a seagull was watching us curiously, how beautiful the summer was. But every word she said drew me in more, every gesture she made seemed designed to stay with me long after the moment was over.

The sky began to turn orange and purple, and I realised I didn't want the day to end. Avery stopped and pointed to the horizon, her eyes sparkling with the reflection of the sunset.

"Look at that, Tom. It's perfect."

It was hard to tell if she was talking about the landscape or the moment we were sharing, but I nodded. To me, at that moment, they were one and the same.

The beach slowly emptied as the sun disappeared, but we stayed there a little longer, as if time were just a detail. And as the stars began to appear, one by one, twinkling like stitches of light on a dark blanket, I knew that this moment, this encounter, was not something I could forget. Avery had come like a wave that sweeps you away without warning, and I was willing to let myself be carried away.

(***)

There was something special about the beach that afternoon. It was as if everything had stopped just for us. I don't know how you did it, but you were able to capture my attention in a way that no one else had ever done before.

That smile of yours and the way you moved across the sand... it was as if you were part of the landscape.

I miss you so much, Avery. I keep dreaming that one day you will appear, smiling at me and telling me that everything will be alright.

—Draft saved: 17 July.