No Strings Attached (SUSPENDED)

Chapter 7

I spend the night in my room. I don't leave for dinner, telling my mother that I'm not hungry. My dad hasn't been home since this morning, I assume that he left after what happened with my mother. The worst thing is that he hasn't bothered to call to see if I'm okay after what happened. Charming Dad, nice to know you care.

I lay in bed with my earphones in, blasting All Time Low's Therapy, my favourite. I think about the events of the day which has possibly been the worst day of my entire life. I'm now known as the school's whore, the slut who fucked a college guy. I'd even overheard someone telling their friend that this would turn into a failure teenage pregnancy. That terrified me. I might be an adult soon but I am in no way ready for a child. But thankfully Oliver and I had been responsible and used protection.

Thinking of Oliver puts a smile on my face, even though all I want to do is cry. I think I've made a real friend there, or possibly more. The confidence that fills me when I'm with him is so fulfilling, I feel like I can step out of my shell whenever I'm around him and it feels unbelievably refreshing compared to my quiet, shy persona around everybody else. The only other person I feel that way with is Madison, who I've known most of my life.

I'd love for Oliver to be with me when Kat is harassing me, just to see what I'd do, if I'd stick up for myself because when I'm alone and afraid, Katrina gets the best of me, she always has and always will. I can't fix that about myself. I'm a fuck up. Hell, I'm the reason my parents finally decided to get a divorce. The reason my father hasn't bothered to come home. The reason that I only have one friend. The reason I gave my virginity away to a one night stand.

The tears finally start to stream down my face.

Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty...

Tell me about it. Alex Gaskarth's soothing voice just makes me cry even more until I'm full on sobbing; chest heaving sobs that make you feel like you can't breathe. Kind of like the ones you get while watching A Walk To Remember, or The Notebook.

Alex's voice stops playing in my ears for short second as a text alert sounds. I wipe some tears from my blurry eyes so that I can see the text.

Madison: Are you okay?

The text makes me cry harder. Do you ever get that? You're doing fine (not in this case) and then your best friend asks you if you're okay and you're reduced to an emotional mess. Best friends have that effect I guess. They're just so damn special and I'm extremely grateful I have Madison.

Madison: Lexie? Please answer, I'm worried.
Madison: Alexis Mai Harper, you had better answer me right now!
Madison: You know don't you? That's why you're ignoring me.
Madison: I'm so sorry...

The texts come through pretty much seconds behind one another, not even giving me a chance to answer in between, which I would if I wasn't too busy sobbing. Madison doesn't send me anything after that. I take a few minutes to calm down before answering.

Me: No I'm not okay but I'll live. Know what? What are you sorry for? What are you hiding from me, Mad'?

Seen 23:17

A feeling of dread creeps into my stomach as minutes pass without Madison answering. I send her another text which she also ignores. I rip my earphones out, music temporarily forgotten. I don't bother washing my face to hide the traces of tears, I'm seeing my best friend and I can't help but feel it will be the last time. The texts say it all, Madison has done something to break my trust.

My mind is working overtime as I stride to the door, with the intention of confronting Madison. What could she have possibly done to betray me? Suddenly it hits me.

Madison is the only one I told about Oliver. Madison is the popular head cheerleader. Madison is the one with everybody's contacts in her phone. The more I think about it the more sense it makes. There was nobody outside the bedroom when I left with Oliver. Nobody saw us leaving the bedroom as Katrina had falsely stated. In fact, I didn't stay long enough for anyone to recognise me. And I certainly didn't look much like myself that night, with the wild hair and caked on makeup... the short dress. Nobody would recognise Alex The Virgin in that attire.

My stomach sinks as I collapse onto the stairs in a sitting position. I pull my phone out of my pocket.

Me: Is it true?
Me: Please tell me it's not true, Madison.

Tears start to fill my eyes again. I can't deal with this, I can deal with a lot but losing my best friend is not something I can handle right now. My breathing starts to quicken and I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate. The tears fall. My heart picks up pace as my phone pings.

Madison: I'm sorry.

My heart stops and a sob racks my body as I throw my phone at the door. The pain is unbelievable. Being betrayed by your best friend, your only friend, is horrible. Have you ever lost your best friend? Someone you'd go as far as to call your sister? If you haven't you're unbelievably lucky because it sucks.

I don't try to keep my sobs quiet and they wake my mother up. She runs down the stairs, trying to comfort me while trying to find out what has happened. I'm crying so hard I can't answer her. I just wrap my arms around her and cry. She starts whispering how sorry she is in my ear and rage fills my body. I'm fucking sick of people telling me they're sorry.

I push my mother away, the only comfort I have. Instead running out of the door and grabbing my phone on my way out. I walk streets with tears running down my face. I don't know where I'm going. What I do know is I'm alone. Completely and utterly alone.