A string of fate

30

Halos hindi na ako nagulat sa kung paano nya ibato ang huling mga salita na 'yon. He's not really forcing things between us but he always makes me feel that he's really serious with wanting me back. He's a type of person who jokes around but he's serious most of the time. He's also not the vocal type of person. Only few people can see the goofy side of him too.

"Let's go out if I gets bored later."

"Okay. I'll be with you." At isang beses nya pa akong tinaasan ng kilay. "You can bring your ex boyfriend wherever you want.."

"Baliw.." Napailing nalang ako sa kung paano nya nalang malayang nasabi 'yon sa akin. "You should eat. This is my favorite dessert recently."

I watched Bri as he started eating the food I prepared for him. Nasarapan din sya at napangiti nalang din ako habang tinitingnan sya.

I don't really want to give him false hope because of the way I act. I just really became comfortable with him. He never questioned me about it too. Hindi ko kailanman inasahan na magiging ganito kami pagkatapos ng lahat. And for the last three years, he did nothing but be there with me. We don't talk much when I was in Canada but I feel like he really helped me get through life in a way that I cannot explain.

I'm happy with the kind of relationship that me and Bri have. Alam kong ganon din sya. I don't know what will happen but he's good with anything that I can give for now. He's not expecting anything from me and he's just enjoying his life too. I'm enjoying his company and to be honest, I really want to give us a chance. But I don't want to hurt him either. This is just like what happened to me and Ej before. I can't let anyone in. Especially not in this situation where I'm having a battle with myself. Masyadong magulo ang lahat.

"The way you enjoy your life right now, do you even think of getting married soon?"

Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla ko nalang 'yon nasabi kay Bri habang pinapanood ko sya. Mukhang hindi nya din inaasahan 'yon at nakakunot noo nya akong tiningnan.

"I don't even have a girlfriend. Tell me.. how?"

"No. I mean.." Tinaas ko ang paa ko sa couch at mas nagkaroon ng interes sa usapan. "If ever you get into a relationship soon. Are you-"

"Ibang tao ba ang pinag uusapan natin o ikaw?" Hindi ako sumagot at tinignan ako ni Bri. "I don't have any plans to get married but I'm hoping that my next relationship will be the last. Ikaw man 'yon o ibang tao." He casually said it.

"How does it feel kaya, 'no?" Sumandal ako at tumingin sa kawalan.

"Why are you suddenly asking? You don't even have a boyfriend. Or if you want to know how it feels, then get married. Gusto mo bang pakasalan kita?" Ngumisi si Bri matapos nyang sabihin 'yon. I don't know but it's like he will really do it if I say yes.