A Rose as Black as your Heart

(43) How We Let Go

Today was awful. As I was going to meet Leopold, the Unchanged Demon attacked me. I fought, as usual, but this time I felt I would not be able to get away from him unless I killed him. He seemed wilder and more furious than before. It terrified me.

It was my father who saved me. I suppose I should be grateful, but I cannot, after what happened next.

Father had seen me heading to the river, and once he’d caught sight of the Demon attacking me, he did not hesitate. He came to my aid and killed the Demon easily.

“Father!” I cried out. “He was Unchanged!”

My father gave me a strange look. He began to lecture me about the necessity of Nighthunters, the evil of any Demon, Changed or not (“This proves it,” he said, nudging the dead Demon with his foot. “See, he is Unchanged, but he was still attacking you, wasn’t he?”) and that I should never feel scared or ungrateful for my heritage, because saving the human race is a noble and honourable thing to do.

And then, when I tried to tell him I had some place to be, he refused to let me walk on. He insisted I came home, and no matter how hard I tried to persuade him to let me be, he would not back down. I was forced to return with him, hoping Leopold would understand, as I had not understood him.

November 16th

I went to visit Maria today. She was terribly nice to me, as always, serving me tea and asking what I needed.

I told her. I told her about Leopold and I, that our relationship is more than friendship. She was not judging, but I could tell from the look in her eyes that she was unhappy – disappointed, maybe? Sad? Angry? It was hard to decide.

Even now, I am wondering if I have made a huge mistake. I trust Maria, trust her with my life, but I know she is not fond of Demons, and I am worried she may tell my parents, thinking to protect me. I begged her not to, and she agreed, but I still wonder.

The next entry was short, just over a line long.

November 17th

Saw Leopold at the river. Asked if he could tell Deborah to meet me there tomorrow, as well, as I feel I have not seen her in a long time.

November 18th

My parents have found out about Leopold and I.

“Alexis?” Rose waved a hand in front of my eyes. “The bell just went, honey.”

My eyes remained glued to the diary, on that last line. My parents have found out about Leopold and I. “Right.”

Rose tutted. “Still not finished that yet?”

“I’m a slow reader. Don’t diss.” I pretended to hit her with it. “D’you know what class I have next?”

Rose shrugged, flopping on the cough opposite me. “I dunno. Biology?”

I racked my brain. “Yeah, that’s the one. Urgh.” I hit myself with the diary. “Great. A whole half hour of sitting on a desk by myself while Travis completely ignores me.”

Rose’s face crumpled to a frown. “I hate you guys not talking.”

It struck me again that, despite all her popular friends, Rose was actually really lonely. I wondered how many or her friends were real friends – apart from Travis and I. “Trust me, I do too.”

“I tried talking to him, but I think he still needs space.”

“Urgh.” I looked down at the diary. “You know what? Screw this.” I shoved it in my bag, pulled on my jacket and picked up my bag. “I’m skipping.”