Loud Silence

Chapter 10

Noah's P.O.V 

It's been a couple days since I seen Willow, the day Adrian left our table was also the last day I talked to Adrian. Not because I haven't seen him, no I've seen him, but I hate him. Hate is such a strong word, but that's exactly why I'm using it. When I seen Willow kiss him it was like every piece of my heart shattered into a million pieces. 

Is this how Willow felt when I kissed Brittany? Did I put her through this when I chose Brittany over her? Yes you idiot. And I let her get away too. I let her go by choosing Brittany. I made her feel this way by dancing, and doing things with Brittany that I should have done with her. But I didn't and that led her to Adrian. That bastard. He knows I like her and he still went after her. He.. but he didn't do anything wrong. He treats her how she deserves to be treated when I didn't. 

She deserves him, and he deserves her. But I want her. I want her beautiful smile to be for me, not for him, I want her bright eyes to be sparked with happiness because of me, I want to make her feel like that. Not him. It can't be him. It has to be me. 

So that's what I've done these past couple days. I've been planning ways upon ways on how I can win Willow back. But it's kind of hard to do these things when she hasn't showed up to school. Maybe I can go to her house? Would that seem stalkerish? Maybe. But quite frankly I don't care. 

So I stand up stretching out my long legs and leave the house without even telling my parents that I'm leaving. I drive right over to her house. I walk right up to her door and I knock loudly.

The door opens slowly and there she is standing in perfection. Her waves hang down almost to her waist, she's wearing an oversized knit sweater that comes to her mid thigh, her legs are long and smooth, god she's beautiful without even trying. I stare down into her wide eyes. She's questioning me. My presence here. I'm about to speak but something stops me. It's like I can't, my voice gets stuck in my throat. I'm paralyzed in the spot I stand in. 

The only thing I can do to show her that I still care for her, the only thing to make her think about me like that again is to kiss her. So I do, I cup her face and let my eyes roam over her eyes, her lids shutting slowly in anticipation for me to kiss her, her lashes are long and rest upon her high cheekbones, her lips are pink and soft, succulent. 

I lean down closing my own eyes and I let my lips brush against hers softly. It sends electric shocks through my body. Something that's never happened when I kiss other girls. But Willow isn't just some other girl. I snake my hand around her hip and pull her body against mine. Letting my lips move against hers. The feel of her against me silences the millions of thoughts that race through my head. There's just me and her. Her hands tangle themselves in my hair which only makes my heart beat faster. My body is telling me to breathe but all I can do is ignore it because the craving for her is so much stronger than the need to breathe. 

But it ends all too soon when she untangles herself from me staring at me with her lips slightly parted. She's still standing close to me, our breath mingling as we both catch up with our bodies need for oxygen. I don't let my eyes move from her, I'm trying to read the emotion in them but she's just too good at hiding it. 

Tears start to form in her eyes which makes my shattered heart turn to dust as it breaks even more. She shoves my chest and I do nothing but stagger back. Somehow I find my voice. 

"Willow please, please I'm sorry. I'm sorry I chose her, I'm sorry I didn't try like I told you I would. Willow please don't cry baby." My voice is husky, not the husky you hear when a man is turned on, no it's the husky that you here when he's on the verge of tears. 

She shakes her head, it's not that she's denying my apology, she's shaking her head because she doesn't know what to do. She's pokes my chest hard. I did this. I read in her eyes. I broke her, I messed with her heart, I messed with her head, I messed up, I did this. 

She shakes her head slowly again, wiping the tears from her eyes and cheeks. I want to do that I want to hug her. I want to make this all better. But I can't do that when I'm the one causing the cracks in her heart. 

*    *    * 

Willow's P.O.V 

I've never felt something so real. Something that shook me to my core like that. Had I not pushed him away I would've let him do anything. My skin was on fire, an ache of want planted itself in my belly, my mind is still spinning like a tornado from the memory of his lips on mine. 

To say the least my kiss with Adrian wasn't as electric. The fire between Noah and I isn't just any fire. It roars, it's explosive. It's the finale of a fireworks show. It's a brilliant fire that makes me warm. 

It's nothing like the fire with Adrian. Which internally makes me break even more because I like Adrian a lot. And Noah has done things to mess with my head and heart. God damn it Noah why did you do this to me? My heart's in turmoil. 

I stare at Noah, his hair is a sexy mess. Pieces of hair falling onto his forehead, his eyes are haunting and glossy. I shake the thoughts out of my head and step back into my home. I'm sorry Noah. 

I close the door softly and lean my back against the door sliding down it. Hoping and wishing to just  disappear into a puddle of tears. The silence of my house has never been so loud before. 

Where's my mother when I need her? I've been here a couple days from school because I've been sick so I keep emailing the school that I'll be out pretending to be my mother because she's not here. I've been out for two days now. Yesterday because I really was sick, but today I wasn't as sick, I was just, not feeling school.  

Maybe I should've gone. Maybe Noah wouldn't have tried anything. God Noah why did you do this?What am I going to tell Adrian? 

I guess those are things I'll worry about tomorrow. Slowly I make my way up the stairs and crawl back into bed hiding beneath the blankets. I hope I fall asleep into a simple oblivion just for tonight. No dreams just simple sleep. Just for once I'd like everything to be okay. Why can't the good things just stay within my hold and not fall through my hand the way sand slips through my fingertips. 

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I'm leaving this one short, it's compacted into a lot of emotion and the way things happen in the chapter happens within a short time. He kisses her to show her that his heart is still pining for her. And Willow is just caught in a turmoil state of emotions. It's not going to be easy anymore. Life's like that. 

~Yours truly~