KAKUHIDA

A Complicated Situation

A/N: Here's my drawing of Hidan in female version (^_^*)

Some days Later in a small house they rented near a small village~
'Hidan POV'

As I was boredly laying down, Kakuzu came panting running through the door. "WHATS WRONG!? ARE WE BEING ATTACKED SHIT SHIT SHIT !" "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!" Kakuzu breathes a big breath then proceeds. "You need to...*pant* transform into a *pant pant* wife!" ".........a wife?" "Yes I told this woman I had a wife I'll explain everything later! now hurry up we'll be here like in 5 minutes!" Kakuzu poofed into thin air. So that was a shadow clone eh. Hmm what the hell! Stupid KAKUZU! The shit I do for you!!!!!!!!!! I performed the hand signs for the transformation jutsu and kept trying for like 5 times before finding the right wifey motherly type. Hehehe I'm hot. I pose infront of the mirror.

'Kakuzu POV'
~20 minutes ago~

Damn that lazy bastard. Why do I have to go out and buy everything. His leg isn't even injured anymore... As I picked up bags of vegetables I saw a red haired green eyes woman staring at me from outside the store. Tch I swear they're all so annoying. I pay for the stuff and make my way out. "Domoo~! What's your name! I'm Hikari" this so called Hikari jumped infront of me with puppy love eyes. "Please leave me alone." I pass by her but she gets infront of me again. "What do you want? I'm in a hurry" "What's the rush you seem to be alone, and you look like good husband material!" Husband material??? She gives me a cheeky smile and tries to hug me but I quickly avoid it. "Huh? What's wrong with you?" "I think the question should be what's wrong with you! Why are you bothering me all of a sudden!? Get lost" she starts to cry "it's just that! My parents expect me with a husband and they are visiting this weekend from another village! If they find out I don't have one they will arrange a marriage for me!!!!" Ugggg seriously this ain't my problem she is seriously so annoying. "That not my problem so get lost, and I already have a wife! So too bad." "W-what! You're lying! If you had a wife then she would be the one grocerie shopping and not you!!" Tch. Persistent bitch. "Can't a husband be a good person and do it instead of his wife! I'm not one of those possessive men, and The women don't have to do everything you idiot!" "Waaaaah you would be a very good husband then!!!! Please marry me for the weekend! And maybe even forever!" "Ugh I already told you I have a wife! And her name is ... Hidan-i (pronounced Hidanee xD)" "...YOU JUST MADE THAT UP!" "No I didn't! Now leave me alone!" I walk away.
It's been ten minutes and she's still following me... "WOULD YOU QUIT FOLLOWING ME" "I Wanna see this so called 'Hidani' for myself!" "Damnit you annoying brat! FINE JUST COME THEN! but after you see her you leave okay!" "Hmmm YAY~ oh and what's your name Handsome~?" "It's Kakuzu now shut up!" damnit I've really done it now... I gotta send Hidan a shadow clone in advance!

-back to present time-
'Hidan POV'

Should I say "welcome back dear~ <3" or "oh honey! Welcome back~<3". "Hahaha I'd be the perfect wife for Kaki-chan". I sense Kakuzu's chakra, hmm.

"Hey Hidani I'm back" pffffft seriously 'Hidani' couldn't he come up with a better name? Oh whatever. I open the door and give a closed eyed smile. "Welcome back, darling~" I open my eyes and notice the girl next to him staring at me with envy and hate. "Oooooh, you brought a friend? Konichiwa~ I'm Hidani, 'Kakuzu's wife'." I bow, and added extra emphasis to 'wife' so she can get the message and leave.

'Hikari POV'

"I'm Hidani , 'Kakuzu's wife'."  So this is Hidani. And Kakuzu wasn't lying. Tch. This Hoe. I can easily get rid of her, I'm much more prettier and better than her. Sure she may have bigger boobs with a great body and a really cute face but I can still get her out of the way so that me and Kakuzu can be together forever.    That thing about my parents? It was a lie, I just want to be married to a piece of Hot stuff like Kakuzu. It was love at first sight. I will get him no matter what!
"Well hello" I fake smiled. "I'm Hikari~  and I didn't know Kakuzu had such a pretty Wife he must be lucky" haha did I say pretty? Pretty...pathetic is what I would say. "Would you mind if I came inside for a while, I mean it's just that I had a long walk and I'm kinda tired" I put my backhand over my forehead in fake despair. Now they have to let me in.

'Kakuzu POV'
   Wow... Hidan is hot. He really went at it with the wife thing. My eyes shift towards Hidan's breast and I blush a little thinking of things I could do to him... My thoughts were interrupted as Hidan-more like Hidani said "Of course, you must be veeeeery tired please come in for a moment" Hidan strained a smile and motioned her in, Damn I can practically feel the tension between them both. Well this is going to be just fun(sarcastic tone).

'Hidan POV'
   Damnit this whore won't give up. Can't she get it through her thick skull that I'm Kakuzu's waifuu! Well not really but yeah! I have no choice but to scare this bitch off. "Ill get you some water~" I got to the kitchen and get her some sink water. Bitch doesn't deserve purified water. "Here you go" hmmmmm. "Oh Kakuzu I haven't given you a welcome home kiss!" I run over to Kakuzu and give him a sweet full kiss on the lips and with loooove. But he didn't know that haha. I sit down next to Kakuzu on the couch and look towards Hikari. She's infuriated. Well lemme just add more too her. "Oh I'm sorry do you want a welcome back kiss too Hikari~?" "Uh I uh n-no" she's flustered now great haha. "*giggle* just kidding~" I wink at her, that ought to embarrass her.

'Hikari POV'
Damn this stupid little tramp! She will so pay! I'm way better! And she's making me look ridiculous infront of Kakuzu-chan! Uggggh!

'Kakuzu POV'
What have I gotten myself into! And did Hidan seriously kiss m-me? But Hidan seems to be taking care of it pretty good. Man I needa get outta here for a bit thank god for restrooms. "If you excuse me ladies, I'll be back" I get up and leave.

'Hidan POV'
Some Husband he is psh leaving me alone with her. "Ahhhh finally so Kakuzu-chan left." "Huh?" "Phew, now I can stop this stupid charade of me being nice to you, I'm gonna put it simple grandma...leave Kakuzu...tell him you don't love him anymore and leave him for me where he is off much better." Who does this bitch think she is? First of all Kakuzu would never like her nasty attitude and second... She's a plain dickbeggar. "Excuse me!? Look here you little tramp I don't give to shits about you talking trash to me but I will never give up My husband just because some street slut asked me to." "YOU FREAKIN WHORE! You have no right calling me a slut! Look at yourself! I bet you fuck people behind Kakuzu's back!" "Oh your right honey, your dad was practically asking to fuck me more last night" I smirk at her. I seem to have hit a nerve since she stayed quiet and looked at me with pure rage. If eyes could kill this girl would have killed me about ten times already. "Y-YOU LITTLE BITCH! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY FATHER! YOU DONT DESERVE KAKUZU'S LOVE! I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART! YOU DONT KNOW HIM!" "I don't deserve his love? I don't know him? "YOU MET HIM LIKE AN HOUR AGO! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THE REAL KAKUZU! IM THE ONE WHOS STUCK BY HIM WHEN WE WHERE YOUNGER! WE WENT THROUGH HARD TIMES TOGETHER! HE WAS MY HOPE AND I WAS HIS! I KNOW HIS FAVORITE FOOD IS DANGO, IM THE ONLY  ONE THAT KNOWS WHERE HIS MOST PRIZED POSSESION IS! IM THE ONE HE TRUSTS MORE! AND NOBODY CAN POSSIBLY LOVE HIM MORE OR THE WAY I DO!" I slapped Hikari Hard! By the time I finished I was consumed in rage! How dare she say that! DAMMNIT.

'Kakuzu POV'
    I had been hiding behind the wall in the hall and heard everything. Hidan really does care about me. And he loves me? I blush a little at the thought. No,no I'm sure that last part was just an add on to make it more dramatic. I hear a slap and see that Hidan had slapped the girl. She held her cheek and said "w-well whatever, I didn't want your stupid husband anyways!" Then she runs out of the house in tears.
Phew man, finally.

'Hidan POV'
    I sit in the couch finally relieved that she left. I sigh a tired sigh. Then Kakuzu walks in "I'm ba-hey where's Hikari?" "The bitch left crying" "*sighs* finally, what did you do to her" "I said some stuff then  then slapped her" "oh...damn I'm so stressed!" "Haha, you wanna fuck me in this form?" I pose sexily "it'll release your stress~" "quit fooling around you idiot" Kakuzu blushes a little. He throws a pillow at my face that makes me fall back and turn back to my original form. Then he mumbles something under his breath as he goes to the bedroom.

'Kakuzu POV'
     As I walk to the bedroom I mumble "I rather have the real Hidan than Hidani" "WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Hidan screams from the living room. I undress and tuck myself in closing my eyes.

Hidan: KYA~ I KISSED KAKUZU <3

A/N: Hope you like it! ^_^ haha Kakuzu is the ladies man ;) <3