Running to You | Park Han + JL + Steven | Haneulz + Stejay AU

Chapter 85: Permission to Fall Apart

Steven's arms tightened around him, his own tears falling silently. His chest felt like it was caving in, but he forced the words out anyway.

"You still do," Steven said roughly, the admission tearing something inside him. "You're the only thing keeping him alive."

Steven held him there in the empty parking lot, giving Han what was left of himself. And something no one else had: permission to finally collapse. Permission to be human. Permission to let someone else hold the love of his life. 

Even though it meant admitting that Han's love was what would save JL, not his own.

It was the hardest thing Steven had ever done. 

* * * 

Three weeks later, everything changed.

The call came while Han was folding laundry. The head therapist's voice was careful, controlled.

"We've reviewed JL's latest tests. There's measurable signal. True conduction. The window for functional rehabilitation is opening."

Han sat down hard, gripping the table edge.

"It's not a guarantee," the doctor continued. "But it's real."

When Han hung up, his hands shook. Hope, he realized, was heavier than despair had ever been.

The next session was different. JL gripped the parallel bars before anyone told him to, his breathing already fast -- part dread, part readiness.

"You okay?" Han whispered.

"No," JL rasped. "But I want to try."

The words hit Han like a hammer. "Then I've got you."

As the frame lifted him, JL clenched his jaw, fingers curled bloodless around the bars. The pain screamed through him, but he didn't curse. Didn't scream. His breathing came in controlled bursts, dragging every molecule of oxygen into his bloodstream by force.

Twenty seconds. Thirty. Forty.

When they finally lowered him back into the wheelchair, JL sagged into Han's waiting arms, drenched in sweat but present. Alert.

After a long silence, JL spoke first.

"I'm sorry."

Han blinked. "For what?"

"For making you do this. For everything I said." JL's voice caught. "I hated you because you wouldn't leave. And I hated myself because I couldn't make you go."

Han's throat closed. "I stayed because I wanted to."

"You wanted me to hate you," JL said quietly. "You let me hate you so you could keep pulling me up. Even when I screamed at you."

Han looked down. "I did."

"Why?"

Han met his eyes, letting JL see every raw inch of him. "Because if I let you go, you wouldn't be here at all."

JL reached out with trembling fingers, brushing Han's knuckles. The contact was brief but Han felt it like fire.

"You saved me," JL said so softly it was almost inaudible.

Han allowed himself to touch JL then, the barest finger stroke across his cheek. "You are saving yourself."

* * * 

The recovery began slowly. Each session, JL's endurance grew by precious seconds. The hatred didn't vanish overnight -- it transformed, becoming something more complex. Not anger at Han anymore, but a deep, aching shame at what he'd become. At what he'd put Han through.