Running to You | Park Han + JL + Steven | Haneulz + Stejay AU

Chapter 34: Things I Don't Say (JL POV)

Steven was looking at him again.

Not in the way other people looked. Not the way fans stared at him on the track, or the way Han used to glance his way like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Steven looked like he already had the answer -- and he liked what he saw.

It was terrifying.

Steven never asked for anything. That was the worst part. He just offered. A towel, a spot, a bottle of water. A presence that didn't demand, didn't question. Just stayed. Solid. Reliable. Kind.

The way Steven had held him that night. 

JL wanted to be held like that. To let himself fall into something easy. Something that didn't make his chest feel like it was splitting open just from being near.

But every time Steven stepped closer, JL's brain reached for someone else.

Han.

Even now. Even after all the silence.

Han, who was too intense, too controlling, too cold when he didn't get what he wanted. Han, who had touched his hair like it meant something. Who had pulled back the confetti and looked at him like a puzzle he didn't understand. 

JL hated how much he still wanted that look. Hated how much it ruined him, knowing he couldn't have it now -- not without strings, not without pain.

Steven made him feel wanted in a way that didn't hurt. That was the problem.

Because JL didn't know what to do with affection that didn't cut.

He stood beside Steven, staring at the field, trying to ignore the part of his body that always tilted slightly toward Han's voice, even when it wasn't there.

"You're getting faster," he said, just to break the silence.

Steven smiled. "You noticed?"

Of course he did. JL noticed everything Steven did.

He noticed how his sleeves were always rolled the same way. How he stretched his arms behind his back when he was thinking. How his voice dropped half a tone when he got serious. How his eyes softened whenever JL looked away.

He noticed. That's what made it worse.

"I notice everything," JL murmured, knowing he shouldn't say it, but not knowing how to lie anymore.

He felt Steven shift slightly beside him, like the air got tighter, like maybe he was waiting for something.

JL couldn't give it. Not yet.

So he stepped back.

"I'll see you at sprints."

He jogged off before he could look back.

And as he ran, he asked himself again -- why did he keep chasing the person who hurt him, when someone else would've caught him by now?

Maybe because Steven felt like home.

And Han felt like a storm JL wouldn't survive -- but kept running toward anyway.