Chapter 6: Between Songs

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by Martiepants_

by Martiepants_

The road twisted upward into the mountains, the bus rumbling a little as it took the sweeping curves and drove through soft fog. JL shifted in his seat beside Han, one earbud tucked gently into his left ear, the other in Han's.

The music filled the space between them, Ruel's "Too Many Feelings" first, then a Stray Kids B-side, warm and melodic. JL's phone sat on his lap, screen glowing softly as the playlist continued, unbothered.

JL hadn't meant to offer the earbud. His hand had moved and his mouth had spoken the words before he could stop himself. And Han hadn't rejected the offer.

He hadn't pulled away and he hadn't made it weird. And now he was sitting there, steady, the line of his profile against the window light, one leg angled slightly toward JL.

JL tried very hard not to fidget.

He tried not to notice how close they were. How his shoulder brushed Han's sleeve whenever the bus took a turn. Outside, the trees blurred past. Inside, something else was slowly, achingly settling inside his chest.

Han liked the quiet. But not this kind of quiet.

He was used to distance and personal boundaries. Silence was a wall, and he was glad for it most of the time, especially around noisy crowds. Except JL wasn't a wall. JL was warmth. A light left on in the next room. The soft curl of someone's breath when they laugh into their own collar.

Han hadn't expected JL to offer him the earbud, hadn't fully recovered from the surprise of it. He focused on the music instead, letting the sound fill the parts of him that didn't have words.

"Do you ever feel like... you're doing everything right, and it still feels wrong?"

Han blinked. Turned to him. JL's eyes were on the floor.

"Back home," JL continued, "we had a team. Small school. Decent coaching, but not much funding. I ran in busted shoes half the time. It was humid and hot and our track was broken asphalt, but we trained like it was the Olympics."

Han didn't interrupt.

"My coach used to say, 'Talent will get you noticed, but fire will get you remembered.'" JL smiled faintly. "He's the one who sent my videos to the transfer program. He said Korea had better resources, they had real scholarships and real sponsors. I didn't think they'd say yes."

Han's voice was quiet. "But they did."

"Yeah," JL said. "They did." He swallowed. "And sometimes... it's still hard. Because no one here really knows me. They just know what I can do. I don't want to be... a symbol. I want to be me."

Han looked at him. "You're not a symbol." JL looked up.

"You're JL," Han said. "You're a person. And you belong here."

JL met his eyes then, their gazes locking in that moment, and he could see that Han meant it. JL simply nodded and turned back toward the window. And changed the song. Something older. He tapped the beat lightly against his thigh.

Han listened. Then, softly: "My parents... they're both in business. International companies. I barely see them."

JL blinked.

Han kept his eyes on the window. "Grew up with a nanny. Learned to cook because I didn't like waiting. Ran because it was quiet. Competed because I liked winning."

JL said nothing.

"I don't talk about it much," Han added.

"You don't have to," JL said. "But... thank you." Han nodded.

JL smiled. The playlist rolled on.

Ryeowook's "The Little Prince" filled the silence.

JL didn't speak. Han didn't move. But their heads tilted a little closer. Their legs pressed more fully. And when the chorus came around, something in Han's expression seemed to have softened and relaxed.

JL closed his eyes. In that moment, it didn't matter that they were heading to a training retreat in a cramped old bus. It didn't matter that neither of them could fully understand or express their individual emotions underneath the surface, about themselves or each other.

They were just two boys sharing a song. And it was enough.

[Your comments and votes each chapter mean the world and support this story. Thank you for reading, and see you in the next chapter! ✩✩✩ - Martiné]