Running to You | Park Han + JL + Steven | Haneulz + Stejay AU

Chapter 81: What They Need

The ceiling fan blades kept spinning. I'd wanted to be angry at Han -- I was angry at him -- but underneath was something else, quiet and unsettling. The realization I'd been careful and gentle with JL because I'd assumed he needed protecting. I'd assumed he was fragile, still wounded. But Han had seen something else -- a JL capable of being challenged.

I didn't like this thought. It made my chest ache in ways that had nothing to do with my bruises. Because if Han was right, then I'd missed something important. And I hated admitting that even more than I hated admitting Han was right.

The thing about realizing you might be wrong about something fundamental is that it doesn't happen all at once. It's more like water wearing away stone -- a gradual erosion of certainty that leaves you sitting in the ruins of your previous convictions.

About an hour after I'd returned, I'd heard Han come back to the dorms. His door closed softly, precise and controlled, exactly like him. Moments later, Woongki's voice carried through thin walls:

"Dude, have you looked in the mirror?"

"Not a big deal," Han replied evenly.

"Where's JL?"

"My apartment."

"Then why are you here?" Woongki sounded baffled.

Han paused before answering, quietly and matter-of-factly, "Because JL didn't want to be reminded of anything. Including me. I'll go back tomorrow morning and make sure he eats something."

It shouldn't have stung as much as it did. JL at Han's place, Han casually sacrificing his own comfort without complaint -- it made me feel small and irrelevant.

A sharp knock at my door interrupted my spiraling thoughts.

"Steven, open up," Woongki called. "We brought snacks and unsolicited opinions."

"Either you open up, or Woongki picks the lock," added Kyungho, practical as always.

I sighed, dragging myself off the floor. It seemed easier to just surrender.

Woongki barged in with a dramatic sigh. "You look like you've been hit by a truck -- oh wait, Han punched you, same thing."

Kyungho set a thermos on my desk, examining me carefully. "You okay?"

I laughed bitterly. "Define 'okay.'"

Woongki flopped onto my bed, opening a bag of convenience-store chips. "Okay, let's recap. You punched Han, which we've all considered doing at least once -- congrats on acting on that particular fantasy. But why exactly are you brooding like the world's most dramatic martyr?"

"Because," I muttered, sinking into my chair, "Han said something true about JL that I didn't want to hear."

"What did he say?" Kyungho asked softly.

I swallowed. "He said JL's already in pain. Makes me think I've been useless at helping him."

Woongki rolled his eyes. "Oh my god, Steven. You literally brought JL back from the brink. You realize he was like, a ghost when he first arrived? You made him human again."

"But maybe..." I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. "Maybe what helped JL before isn't what he needs now."

There was a silence, brief but noticeable. Kyungho nodded slowly. "Maybe. People change."

Kyungho added, "Han's approach worked this time, but that doesn't mean it would have worked six months ago. JL needed to trust someone before he could handle being challenged by them." 

Woongki was nodding along while systematically working his way through a bag of chips. "Steven, you gave JL a safe place to start. Without that, he might never have trusted anyone enough to listen to harsh truths."

 I looked at my best friends, feeling something loosen in my chest. "You think so?" 

 "I know so," Kyungho said firmly. "You gave him a foundation. Han pushed him to grow from that foundation. Both things were necessary."

I stared down at my bruised knuckles. It wasn't exactly a comforting thought, but maybe it was a true one. Maybe I'd been exactly what JL needed when he arrived, even if I wasn't what he needed right now.

Woongki reached over, nudging me lightly. "You know, Han's approach isn't perfect either. He's literally sporting a shiner right now because you disagreed."

I exhaled a shaky laugh. "Yeah, fair point."

After they left, the room felt emptier, but the ache in my chest had softened slightly. I'd been exactly what JL needed, once. For months, he'd flourished under patience and gentleness. Maybe I wasn't who he needed in this exact moment, but that didn't erase everything else.

Tomorrow, Han would make breakfast for JL, probably say exactly the right thing to help him through this crisis. But tonight, I could let myself believe I'd helped JL find his footing when he'd needed it most. Maybe being the right person in someone's life didn't mean always having all the answers. Maybe it meant holding them steady until they were ready to face harder truths.

My phone buzzed again. This time, I picked it up, sending a short reply:

"My hand's fine. You okay?"

The fan blades kept spinning, slowly, methodically. Tonight wasn't about full realizations or perfect answers. Those would come later, maybe. Tonight was just the beginning of understanding -- that maybe love meant knowing you couldn't always be everything someone needed, but believing you'd been enough when it mattered most.

For tonight, at least, that would have to be enough.