Running to You | Park Han + JL + Steven | Haneulz + Stejay AU

Chapter 72: The Ones Who Kissed

And worse --

If you stay... you might lose Steven too.

JL sank down onto the bed. Wrapped his arms around his knees.

He stayed like that.

Very still.

As the moonlight crept across the floor.

As the weight of what he'd done settled into his bones.

And all he could think was:

How do you choose between the fire that makes you brave... and the one that makes you safe?

* * *

Han didn't move. Couldn't.

The air in his room still smelled like JL. His skin. Still held the echo of his voice. His breath.

The sheets were rumpled where they'd fallen. One of Han's hands lay across the mattress, fingers curled like they didn't realize JL was gone.

And in his chest -- silence. Then panic.

He sat back slowly. Palms over his face.

His breath stuttered.

And then -- he laughed.

Not a happy sound.

A broken one. Disbelieving. Shaky.

"What the fuck did I just do?"

He stood, like he could walk it off. Like the sheer energy in his body had somewhere to go. It didn't. It boiled. Buzzed. Burned under his skin like leftover lightning.

He paced.

One step, two, back again.

Fists clenched. Then unclenched. Like if he kept moving, he wouldn't have to feel the thing unraveling inside his ribs.

But it was too late.

Because he could still feel JL's mouth. Still see the way he'd looked at him -- like he couldn't believe he was allowed to want this. Like he was breaking even as he kissed him.

Han's throat tightened. The words still echoing in his ears.

I don't know how to stop wanting you.

And then --

That's the problem.

Han grabbed a water bottle off the dresser and threw it. It hit the wall with a dull thud, bounced, rolled.

Not satisfying. Not enough.

Nothing would be.

He looked down at his hands. Still shaking.

His mouth felt raw. His body -- wrecked.

Because that kiss hadn't felt like indulgence.

It had felt like the truth.