Running to You | Park Han + JL + Steven | Haneulz + Stejay AU

Chapter 64: The First

And just like that, the floor dropped out from under him.

Because those weren't just words. They were an echo.

The last time someone had said that to him -- those exact words, almost to the breath -- he'd been on a cracked little stool in Coach Jim's kitchen, bandages on his legs and steam rising from a bowl of adobo.

He hadn't been an athlete that day. Not even a student. Just a kid who couldn't stop crying, asking, "What am I now?"

And Coach Jim, with a voice cracked from age and sickness, had looked at him like it was the simplest answer in the world and said: "JL, you deserve to be loved. Even if you never run again."

That had been the first time he let himself believe he was something more than a set of stats.

And now -- Steven. Saying it again. Like he meant it.

Like he'd meant it this whole time.

JL's breath hitched. His hands shook. His whole chest ached with the pressure of something trying to surface -- like grief, or relief, or love wearing a disguise.

Steven leaned in and kissed him. Just once.

And JL didn't explode.

He simply... let it happen.

Then Steven kissed him again.

And this time, something inside him broke open. Like a door unlocking from the inside.

"I keep feeling your mouth on mine," JL whispered. "From the rooftop. It won't go away. My lips still feel warm when I remember."

Steven's lips found the corner of his mouth. "Like this?"

A kiss at the edge of his jaw. "Did you remember this?"

A soft press against his temple. "Or this?"

Then, the warmest, gentlest ghost of breath against JL's ear. "Or this?"

JL swallowed hard.

"Yes," he whispered. "All of this. I keep thinking about it."

He kissed Steven back.

Then pulled away, eyes wet.

He cupped Steven's face in both hands. Earnest. Scared.

"I keep trying not to hurt you, Steven," he said, voice breaking. "I keep forcing myself not to want you. Because I'm terrified of breaking you. Of losing you. I would rather never kiss you again than be the reason you get hurt."

Steven took both of JL's hands gently, kissed the back of one.

"JL," Steven said softly, his hands curling gently around the ones framing his face. "I'm a grown man. I came here tonight because I chose to -- because I chose you."

He turned his head slightly, pressing a kiss to one of JL's palms. Then the other.

"None of this is your fault."

A pause. Not for effect, but because the next part hurt to say.

"It does hurt... not being the only one. But right now?" He met JL's eyes, steady and sure.

"Right now, it feels like you're choosing me."

JL broke. Not in a dramatic way. More like a structure designed to collapse after prolonged weathering.

He curled in on himself, sobbing into his hands. Small. Messy. Human.

"I can't do that to you," he said between sobs. "Because I think... I think I might lose you forever. I know what that feels like. To be discarded. To be the afterthought. I can't do that to someone I care about."

Steven's hands stayed gentle, as if he was holding something fragile -- not because he thought JL would break, but because he knew he already had, and still chose to stay.He didn't push. Didn't reach for another kiss. Just rested their foreheads close, so close they shared breath.

"Okay," Steven murmured. "How about this."

His voice was low. Steady. Like he was trying to talk someone back from a ledge.

"Let's just be honest. Right now. Just this moment. We don't have to figure out what it means tomorrow, or next week. We don't even have to name it."

He hesitated -- barely, but it mattered.

"I just need to know... do you want us to keep going, JL?"

JL looked up, slow and uncertain, like his heart had to clear a path first. His mouth opened, then closed, and then -- finally -- he nodded.

Not frantic. Not dramatic.

Just once.

Then, with a breath that trembled down to his ribs:

"Yeah. I do."

The answer fell out of him like gravity.

Steven's posture shifted. Something in his body language rewrote itself in that moment. From gentle to sure. From patience to presence.

"I was drunk back at the rooftop, you know," Steven murmured, fingers brushing JL's jaw. "It wasn't really a fair first kiss."

"What do you mean?" JL asked, confused. "You're my first kiss, Steven."

And Steven stopped.

Like really stopped. Time froze around him. He looked at JL like the world had flipped orientation. Like the air had thinned. 

Like he had just been handed a heart, still beating, in both hands, and told this is yours now, don't drop it.

He kissed him again.

"This," he whispered, voice wrecked, "this is our first kiss, JL."

He leaned in, eyes locked on JL's.

"You can kiss me back now... if you want to."

And JL did.

Melted into him like they were made for this.

Like nothing else had ever felt this right.