(no) Strings Attached

Free

His fingers hover. Then he types—slowly, like every word has to be bled out.

⸻

Inbox: 12:46 AM
From: parkshwa94@tmail.net
To: hjoongwrites@protonmail.com
Subject: Re: Re: (no subject)

They know I stuttered. The math teacher told them. They're making everything harder. No breaks. I can't even think anymore.

I didn't want to bother you. I just... I didn't know what else to do.

⸻

Inbox: 12:47 AM
From: hjoongwrites@protonmail.com
To: parkshwa94@tmail.net
Subject: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)

You are never a bother.

You did the right thing messaging me, okay? I mean that.

You're not weak for struggling. Anyone would. That's not a home—it's a machine, and they're trying to make you forget you're human.

I'm going to help. I swear I will. But for now—can you breathe with me? Just a little? In through the nose, four seconds. Hold. Out through the mouth. Again.

Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong wouldn't be watching but he still followed his advice. Four seconds in, out by mouth. His chest heaved slightly as he repeated the same thing, his eyes pinned at the email message as if it was Hongjoong himself in front of him.

Inbox: 12:50 AM
From: parkshwa94@tmail.net
To: hjoongwrites@protonmail.com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)

I can't stop feeling like I'm failing. I try to hide it, but they know. I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending...

⸻

Inbox: 12:53 AM
From: hjoongwrites@protonmail.com
To: parkshwa94@tmail.net
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)

Listen to me, Hwa. You're not failing. You're doing everything you can just to survive in that place, and that's enough for now.

I can't tell you how much I admire you for holding on as long as you have. You're stronger than you know.

But you don't have to pretend for me. You don't have to hide anything when we're talking. I'm not going anywhere.

⸻

Seonghwa's heart skips, a strange warmth filling the pit of his stomach. It's an unfamiliar feeling, one that makes the tightness in his chest ease just a little.

⸻

Inbox: 12:56 AM
From: parkshwa94@tmail.net
To: hjoongwrites@protonmail.com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)

I don't know if I can keep going like this. I feel like everything is collapsing inside of me... like I'm just... breaking. I'm so tired.

⸻

Hongjoong's chest squeezed at the words he was reading. The Seonghwa he knows would never admit weakness. Never admit defeat.

Inbox: 1:00 AM
From: hjoongwrites@protonmail.com
To: parkshwa94@tmail.net
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)

I'm not going to let you break. I'm not. You are going to get through this.

I know it's hard. I know you're tired, but the fact that you're still reaching out—that's proof that you're still fighting. And that means everything. That means you're still you.

You're not alone in this, okay? I've got you.

⸻

Seonghwa stares at the message, his eyes welling up just a little. Hongjoong's words are like a lifeline, a fragile thread pulling him out of the depths.