Riptide (a camren fic)

Chapter 2: mentioning unmentionables is exhausting

For being the embodiment of the unmentionable, Dinah sure had a hard time with refraining from actually mentioning her – you know – unmentionableness.

It's something Camila has tried to explain calmly to Dinah...well, the figment of her imagination version of Dinah. Because, Camila had come to realize that is exactly what Dinah is at this point – a figment of her imagination. She's still not entirely sure if she should be grateful or insulted by Dinah's daily appearances. The topic of her potential mental instability is a sore topic and another thing listed under the ever increasing list of unmentionables.

But for the most part Dinah complies with Camila's rules and set of boundaries, except of course for the occasional slip ups in which Dinah blatantly reminds her of the unmentionable.

You know, the whole thing of Camila's best friend being dead and all.

It happened almost a year ago. The start of senior year. Right at the precipice of the beginning of their lives. One day Camila went to school alone (which should have been the first hint considering she always met up with Dinah at the bus stop). The whole day had gone by with Camila's grumpy disposition, thinking Dinah had up and decided upon a Senior ditch day without her. It wasn't until about the middle of the day that she began to notice the whispers, and the eyes falling on her, as if gauging her expression. It wasn't until after lunch that the school counselor and principal pulled her aside to inform her that they found Dinah's body that morning. Drowned.

It was almost as if fate had it out for Camila. Or at least held a big fuck you flipped off finger in her direction for the duration of senior year. The first few months were rough. And at the very least she could admit that a radical change in her personality had happened.

Happiness wasn't a term she used so lightly anymore. Who was always happy? There wasn't such a thing. She assumed that it had to do with growing up. Once a person reached the preliminary level of adulthood, they were required to trade in their happiness for the title of adult.

Things weren't always like this. She used to be happy. There are a lot of things she's in denial about. Except this one. There used to be a time she was happy. In fact, there was a time she used to be fun. A time she would've genuinely enjoyed her friends' company, sneaking into movie theaters and sampling froyo at Yogurtland until the manager kicked them out. A time she would've made awful, cringe-worthy puns and inappropriate references to Mean Girls. A time she would've playfully teased Dinah for accidentally asking the cashier at the McDonald's drive-thru for a whopper and then promptly slapping Camila for confusing her.

She used to be happy, but now everything is just so complicated. It began to feel like looking in on a window that's been neglected. Dust and grime coating the glass surface and with every swipe it seems as if another layer of dirt remains. And all Camila manages to see is the distorted images through the filthy window. It's never clean. Ever.

She can't even exactly recall the last time she was genuinely happy. It doesn't help that every time she sees a McDonald's drive-thru, she feels that familiar ache in her chest.

And then to make matters worse (or perhaps better) she began to see Dinah. It happened after she started seeing Dr. Abernathy, which seemed like a bit of a back peddle, considering she was seeing the therapist because her parents thought she was depressed. Yet, having hallucinations of your dead friend wasn't exactly the most productive result of seeing a professional.

But as strange as it sounded, Camila never really questioned it. She never told anyone about Dinah's presence, figuring she didn't need any more of parental worrying or need them to think she belonged in a nut house. And perhaps deep down, Camila knew acknowledging the ridiculous aspect of her 'imaginary' friendship with Dinah put her in a position to question her own sanity. And if there's one thing she knows, it's that she is an incredibly sane person.