Bad Memory

~An Understanding~

I pulled her in for a hug. "I'm not going anywhere."

Despite my intention of calming her down, the assurance made her sob harder. She clung to me as if I were a buoy in a storm, her hands gripping the fabric of my oversized shirt.

"Ma'am, you said you needed to leave by noon," Jeremiah eventually called from the other room.

My mother pulled away and dabbed at her eyes. "Thank you, Jeremiah," she called back calmly. Her tone shifted back to desperation as she turned to me. "Make him happy, Shi. Please."

I nodded, which seemed to appease her. She gave me a small smile before darting out of the room. After she left, I took a few deep breaths and then called for Ruth.

I knew what I had to do.

~~~

My dinners had always been tasty, but with Ruth's assistance, I was able to far surpass my prior work. Ezra's mouth would be watering before he even stepped in the house; the aroma of braised short ribs, creamy mashed potatoes, and garlic roasted vegetables was too strong to contain inside.

Once we finished, I left decorations and dessert up to Ruth while I prepared for Ezra's arrival. After showering, shaving, and doing my hair and make-up, I put on a dress that I unbuttoned two buttons beyond what I would dare do in public. I arrived back in the dining room, and Ezra entered the house only moments later.

My husband dismissed Ruth and Paul for the evening, then approached the dining room. When he entered, his eyes widened, then narrowed.

"What is this?"

"Dinner," I replied with a smile. "I know that the last couple weeks have been challenging, but I'm ready to move forward. But first, I wanted to show you how appreciative I am of your patience and understanding."

Ezra's gaze remained sharp, but he sank down into his seat. He sipped the glass of wine in front of him, his eyes tracking me as I moved to serve him. I had positioned the vegetables on the other side of the table, planned exactly how I would lean over to spoon some onto his plate. The movement wasn't subtle; it offered a direct view of exactly where I wanted his attention.

Sure enough, his eyes flickered downward to the unbuttoned top of my dress before snapping shut as if he were in pain. "Shiloh," he murmured, his voice low. A warning.

"Yes?"

But he didn't say anything further. I handed him his plate and watched as he nibbled at first, then devoured his food. I, on the other hand, mixed my plate around, trying to disguise how little I was eating.

"Why the sudden change?" he asked as he finished the last of his mashed potatoes.

"I suppose I came to my senses," I answered. "You're the perfect husband. You deserve the perfect wife."

"You're done mourning? Just like that?"

I forced another smile. "Lillian wouldn't want me to be unhappy. She wouldn't want to come between us."

Ezra sipped more wine as he stared down at his empty plate. "It's incredible."

"The food?"

"How dramatically your lying has improved."

A sense of impending danger caused my pulse to accelerate. "Ezra-"

"You've lied to me at least three times tonight, Shiloh. Are you certain you'd like to make it four?"

I immediately fell silent.

"I thought we had an understanding," he continued.

"So did I," I countered. "But then I found out you asked my parents to take me back. If you don't want my real feelings and you don't want my fake ones, what do you want?"