(Levixreadersad)

Chapter 6

Levi came to visit once, as well as eren but after a few days, his visits were shorter. I finished reading the book we were assigned in class, and I was an emotional mess. Like when that really great show that has changed your life forever ends. The ending was really unexpected. One of the nurses came in when I was bawling and it was embarrassing. The main characters, Alice and Arthur are in a confusing relationship. Alice finds out Arthur did something really bad when she was on vacation with her parents. She breaks up with him, then gets back together with him and breaks up again then she kills herself. What a great ending. And the worst part was how she killed herself. She jumped off a fucking cliff into ice cold water. How nice. I watched as a nurse walked into the room, and realized that my eye was twitching, and I was clenching my bed sheets.

"Good morning Miss (l/n)," she says. I smile at her as she walks by. "The doctor said that you will be discharged tommorow."
I nod, and she walks over to me.

"Miss (y/n), I know this is not a topic you want to discuss, but I saw that you have been harming yourself?"

"Yes. Why does that matter."

"We can put you on anti depressants. That is always an option," she says.

"What will happen if I don't take any?"

"We are afraid you will loose more blood, and possibly die. Your boyfriend, Eren I think it was, really wanted you to say yes." I pause and take a deep breath.

"Not my boyfriend...," I say. She laughs.

"My bad."

"Don't you think if you give me a bunch of happy pills, I'll just kill myself by taking all of those?

"Ms. (L/n), we recognize that you're 18 and almost ready to graduate but you need help. You can't deny that."

She walks out of the room, and I take a deep breath. I haven't cut in a while. When Levi snapped at me I seemed to stop. Sometimes I'm happy that he came, but at the same time I feel that I don't deserve to be happy. He made me realize maybe I wasn't selfish, but I was an idiot. I still couldn't get over what happened with my parents. When they died I blamed it on myself.

Flashback:

My sleepy eyes drooped I sat in the back of my parents car, watching them talk. I remember them pulling into the driveway of our house. They got out and undid my seatbelt. My dad picked me up and held me close against his chest. He unlocked the front door and walked in. I heard a gasp and a gun click. There was a loud bang, and my head slammed into the wooden floor. My eyes shot completely open. I was being held down by a very heavy weight. I looked around and realized that I was still in my dads arms. I felt something soaking my short and I looked down. I wasn't my blood. It was his- my dads. My eyes filled with tears as I realized what was going on- my dad was dead. I looked up at the stranger and my mom. He was inching toward her, an evil grin plastered against his face. She was crying, holding her hand over her mouth. Her put his hands on her waist, yanking her pants off.

"Mom," I whispered, crying. He pushed her backwards onto the couch the gun still in his hand. She sat there motionless as he took off her shirt. I watched in confusion as he unbuckled his belt. She smiled at me with tears in her eyes. and put her pointer finger over her mouth. She tried to swing at him but he stood her up and shoved her to the ground with a loud slam. Then he yanked down her underwear. I was sobbing quietly and watched it all went down. He pulled down his boxers, and I closed my eyes. I heard weird noises that I didn't understand. I heard my mom crying and moaning. Was she okay? I heard was sounded like a gunshot and opened my eyes. It was absolutely terrifying.

My moms naked body was on the floor. There was a hole in her head, blood dripping down her face. The man had raped her. And killed her. And I didn't know what do to. I heard sirens wailing down the street. I heard shouts from outside. The door flew open and there was a pause, then a gunshot.

The memory had haunted me forever. I met a girl at a foster home who had taught me how to cut. She told me that it took away other people's pain. And that's how it all started.

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Well. That was awkward. Know you know your story. That was sad. lol. Just to let you know (of that was confusing) you were underneath your dad when he was shot, and he fell on top of you. Sorry this wasn't a very informative chapter. Btw guys, I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS so comment as much as you can :) bye.