Twisted Paths

Refuse To Be The End

My legs worked without waiting for my mind, and suddenly, I found myself rushing towards her body, knees crashing to the ground beside her.

The rain hit me in sharp, stinging drops, but I didn't care. I didn't feel it. All I could feel was the cold, hard truth that was trying to settle into my bones. But I refused to let it. I refused to let this be the end. Not like this.

Not with her.

My hands shook as I touched her, brushing the wet strands of hair from her face, my fingers trembling against her skin. Come on, Aera... Please.

But the more I looked at her—pale, lifeless, her lips already showing signs of the cold—the harder it became to deny what I already knew deep down. She was gone. And so was our baby.

I felt my breath catch, my heart skipping a beat as I placed my hand on her stomach. The bump that had once been a sign of hope, of life, was now just another reminder of what we'd lost. I could almost hear her voice in my head—her teasing, her laughter, her confidence. I could still feel the softness of her touch, the way she fit perfectly in my arms, the way she made everything feel like it would be okay, even when the world seemed so far from it.

But this? This was too much. This wasn't okay.

"Come on, baby, wake up for me," I whispered, my voice cracked and desperate. Please. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to live in a world without her. Without them.

I didn't care that the paramedics were still trying, that they were calling her time of death into the radio, or that they were saying there was no hope. I refused to hear it.

I reached out to her face again, my fingers brushing across her cheek, gently. "Come back to me, Aera. I need you. I need you here. Please."

The rain kept pouring down, louder now, as if it were mourning too. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop trying, couldn't stop hoping. Not when she was all I had left in this world. Not when the thought of her not being there was too much to bear.

I pulled her into my arms, clutching her close to me, my body shaking with the weight of it all.

"Please," I whispered again, my voice barely audible over the thunderous roar of the rain. "Please don't leave me. Not like this. Not without... us."

I knew a bit of CPR, that was basics. The paramedic gave me a sharp nod, since they were occupied with contacting transport and keeping her from bleeding out.  They knew physical contact was one thing, and letting me do it would make the most sense. "Breathe air into her lungs, that's a last resort."

I nodded too, pinching a bridge of her nose, taking her lips in mine before blowing air into it. 

I pulled back, my heart pounding so hard it hurt. My hands pressed against her chest, my fingers trembling as I started compressions.

"One, two, three—" My voice cracked, but I kept going. "Come on, Aera—four, five, six—breathe for me, baby, come on—seven, eight, nine—"

The paramedic beside me counted under his breath, keeping track, but all I could hear was the rain, the blood rushing in my ears, and the silence from her.

This couldn't be happening.

I bent down again, pinching her nose, pressing my lips to hers, forcing another breath into her lungs. My entire body was shaking, but I didn't stop.

"Again," the paramedic ordered, voice steady, but I could hear the urgency. The doubt.

No. No, no, no—

I started compressions again. Harder. Desperate. My vision blurred, whether from the rain or my own eyes burning, I didn't know. I didn't care.

She couldn't leave me. She wasn't allowed to.

"Aera, breathe!" I yelled, my voice hoarse, pushing down on her chest again, hoping, praying. My free hand found her stomach again, and the thought of losing both of them sent a fresh wave of panic through me again. Damn it!

But then—

A sudden jerk.

A violent, gasping cough.

Her body arched as she choked, water sputtering past her lips, and my breath hitched so hard in my chest I almost keeled over.

"She's back!" one of the paramedics shouted. "She's breathing!"

I barely heard them. All I saw was her—alive.

I grabbed her hand, gripping it tight. "Aera?" My voice cracked. "Baby, I'm right here."

She coughed again, sucking in a wheezing breath, her eyelids fluttering weakly.

And when her eyes finally cracked open, just barely, just enough—

I let out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding, my forehead falling against hers.

She was alive.

She was still here.

Ha-ri basically almost slapped Aera, trying to break her daze. "Girl! Get the fuck up! You scared the shi—Ambulance, right, someone get the ambulance!"

Aera was still slumped against me, barely awake. My hand went to her stomach again, tying to feel any sign of life there, anything at all.

There...was no movement.

My heart clenched.

No, no, no.

I pressed my palm more firmly against her stomach, willing—begging—for some kind of response. A kick, a nudge, anything.

But there was nothing.

Aera's breathing was shallow, her fingers twitching against my soaked shirt as she weakly tried to move. "Joon..." Her voice was barely above a whisper, hoarse and strained.

I could hear Ha-ri barking orders behind me, Ji-min crying, Seo-ah cursing under her breath. The ambulance sirens wailed in the distance, but they weren't close enough.

I needed them to be faster.

"Baby, stay with me," I whispered, my fingers tightening around her freezing hand. "Just hold on, okay? You're going to be fine. Both of you are going to be fine."

Her lips parted like she wanted to say something, but her eyes fluttered shut again, and my stomach dropped.

No.

I refused to let this be the end.