Strings and Schemes

Chapter 30

Something in his face shifts. Like he gets it now.

Zayn lets out a breath, stepping closer. "I don't want you to feel like you don't have control over this. I don't want you to feel like you're just along for the ride." He hesitates. "So tell me. How do you want to do this?"

I bristle at that. "I don't need protection, Z. I need truth. I need to know what this actually is."

His jaw tightens. "You know what this is."

"Do I?" I challenge, setting my mug aside. "Because you never actually asked me to be your girlfriend."

Zayn stills.

I fold my arms over my chest. "You said you wanted this to be our choice, right? That we'd define it ourselves? Well, you never did. You just let the world decide it for us."

His gaze darkens, something flickering behind his eyes. "That's not—" He exhales sharply. "I just assumed-"

"Exactly." I shake my head. "You assumed I'd just... be yours without saying it. But I'm not some foregone conclusion, Zayn. I don't belong to you by default."

I almost feel guilty for being  this upset with him. None of this is his fault. He dreamt a dream and hoped it would bring him places, and it did and does. But the other side of it is this. The lack of control, the lack of power, the feeling of being managed. It's just, kind of awful feeling like your story isn't yours anymore.

All he has done is work so hard to give me normalcy, whatever that looks like and right now - this is his normal, even if it's not mine.

He looks almost pained, his fingers flexing like he wants to reach for me, but he doesn't. "Rain, come on."

I want to stop this, I want to not do this right now - just after the biggest night of our relationship in some ways. But, I don't back off of this. This conversation is one I didn't feel right pushing for a long time, especially after the period we weren't speaking, but now it feels as if its thrust upon us. And I want, no need, clarity.

So, I persist.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "If we're doing this—if we're actually doing this—it can't just be something we fall into. I need to know where I stand with you. I need to hear you say it."

He holds my gaze for a long moment before he finally speaks.

"Raina, I want to be with you. Only you." His voice is steady, unwavering. "No assumptions, no half-measures. Just us. Because whether or not I said it before, you've been mine from the moment you walked into my fucking house in that damn lengha."

A shiver runs down my spine, but I don't let myself get lost in it. Not yet.

"So, what?" I tease, raising an eyebrow. "You're asking me to be yours?"

He smirks. "Would it help if I got down on my knees?"

I roll my eyes, but my lips twitch despite myself. Not a bad image to start this off properly with.  "It wouldn't hurt."

Zayn leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine, his fingers brushing my jaw. "Be my girlfriend, Raina Addams."

I swallow, my heart slamming against my ribs. "Only if you're mine, too."

His lips quirk up. "Always."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, wrapping my arms around his neck as he kisses me slow and deep, anchoring me to him.

Maybe we don't have all the answers. Maybe the press will get worse. Maybe we'll still have to fight for every second of privacy.

I blink. "What?"