Strings and Schemes

Chapter 22

Harry leans in, eyes sharp with amusement. "It was more than that."

I exhale slowly, staring at my cards, but I don't see them. I see the sculptures. The weight of them. The truth in them.

"Yeah," I murmur. "It was."

Liam places his bet, then speaks like it's nothing, like it's casual. "She's waiting for you, you know."

Something in my chest tightens.

"She's not," I say, but the words taste like a lie.

Louis hums. "Nah, mate. She is. She's just too stubborn to admit it. Sound familiar?"

I glare at him, but he only grins wider.

Harry chuckles, setting down his cards. "Look, man. I don't know what the hell you're waiting for, but if you think she didn't bare her entire fucking soul with that exhibit, you're delusional."

Liam nods. "You asked for her to let you in. She did. You gonna walk away from that?"

The table goes quiet. The weight of their words settles over me, heavy and inescapable. I rake a hand through my hair, exhaling slowly. "It's not that simple."

Louis leans forward, serious now. "It actually is, mate. At this point it is. You know she's got deep rooted shit, everyone has deep rooted shit. She is the best person I know, whether she'll ever admit it or not."

Liam pipes up, "If you don't go to her, knowing all of this - would you have ever stayed?"

I stand up abruptly, feeling like punching someone in the face. I sit down. I feel like I'm buffering in real time.

"You asked for her to do what she did, well maybe not exactly what she did..." Niall trails off.

Harry picks up, "But you did ask her to be real, to let you in. She didn't do it on your timeline, but she sure as fuck did it."

I shake my head to protest.

Louis addresses the elephant in the room, "Man, do you know that she's never not called me to drown her feelings away with sex? Except for that night, and except for now. She's playing by your rules, even if you didn't ask her to, and even if you aren't there to see it. If you won't see the change in her, then you're blind, and daft."

The words hit harder than I expect. The truth is, I don't know if I can take the risk of her rescinding the offer she's presenting. But I do know one thing—I can't keep pretending I don't want it.

I push my chair back, standing up.

Liam smirks. "Where you going?"

I grab my coat. "I think you already know."

Louis grins, tipping an imaginary hat. "Go get your girl, mate."

(Raina's POV)

I shouldn't be waiting. I should be moving on, distracting myself, filling the silence with something that doesn't sound like his voice in my head. But instead, I'm here. Curled up on my couch, staring at my phone, rereading his last message like it holds some kind of hidden answer.

Listening to the fucking playlist he made for me, listening to the song he wrote for me. Crying myself to sleep, making myself sick. A sinking feeling hits me, what if I did exactly what he wanted - what I wanted for so long - bared my soul for him only for him to change his mind?

I shake my head clear of the feeling. Like an etch a sketch, a part of me hopes I'll forget the feelings I've felt the past two weeks; that if he's gone, that I'll survive it. But, I know I need to change. I keep thinking, if he let me back in - I could pull myself together and fix it, without fear of everything and nothing all at once.