Strings and Schemes

Chapter 21

She blinks rapidly, like I just said something she wasn't ready to hear.

She takes a shaky breath. "I—"

But she doesn't finish.

So I take a step closer. "You spent years pretending with Louis. Making sure it didn't mean anything. And I—" My voice catches, just for a second. "I won't be that for you."

Her breath hitches. She looks away.

"I didn't—" She stops herself, shaking her head.

"Didn't what?" I push. "Didn't think it would hurt me? Didn't realize you were doing it?"

Silence.

That's all the answer I need.

I nod once, stepping back.

"Congratulations on your show," I say quietly. And I turn to leave.

Raina's POV

"Wait."

I don't know why I say it. My body moves before my mind can catch up, my hand reaching for him before I can stop it.

Zayn stops, but he doesn't turn.

I swallow, my throat dry. "Please."

It's barely a whisper.

Slowly, he looks over his shoulder, and I hate the guarded expression on his face. Hate that I put it there.

I don't know what I'm supposed to say. That I didn't mean to push him away? That I wasn't trying to hurt him? That I'm scared in a way I can't even explain?

Instead, I do what I know best. I show him.

I walk past him, stopping in front of The Mirror.

"This one," I say, voice barely above a whisper. "This is the piece I worked on last."

Zayn watches me, silent.

I trace my fingers over the cracked half, the seams still rough from where I welded them together. "For days, I kept trying to make this side perfect. Kept smoothing it over, trying to make it -" I trail off, "But no matter how much I tried, it always looked wrong. Like I was lying."

I glance at him. His expression is unreadable.

"So I left the seams." I let out a breath. "Because they are me. And maybe I don't know how to be both sides yet. Maybe I don't know how to stop running. But I want to."

Zayn exhales, rubbing his jaw. His throat bobs.

"I want to stop running," I repeat, voice quieter. "But I don't know how."

A long silence.

Then, Zayn's voice, soft but firm: "Then let me show you."

I blink up at him, heart hammering.

And this time, when he steps closer, I don't pull away.

Zayn's POV

The night air is crisp, laced with the remnants of rain, and the quiet hum of the city. We walk side by side, steps uneven, as if neither of us knows exactly where we're going. Which, really, is the truth.

Raina's arms are wrapped around herself, but she's not cold—she's always run warm. No, this is different. This is her bracing herself. Holding something in.

I keep my hands shoved into my pockets, resisting the urge to reach for her. It's habit now, touching her, knowing the exact places to press to bring her closer. But there's something about the way she's walking that tells me not to try.