January 28, 2013
Dear J,
it's been days since I last wrote to you.
you never even replied to my letter.
I know you got it, though.
your mum told me so.
I know you're really mad. I understand because what I did was so wrong.
I hope that after all the letters I send to you, we'd go back to the way we used to be.
I decided to write 5 letters.
to show how sorry I am.
I'm putting all my hardwork and effort into this letter.
I'm currently in my room, thinking.
thinking of how I could put what I need to say into words.
it's really hard to express my feelings through writing.
I just want to run to your house.
and tell you how I really feel.
how it feels like to be ignored by someone you care so much about.
we've known each other for so long, and you just let this small thing ruin what we had.
I'm not blaming you, though.
it was I who committed the mistake.
I should be the one to get blamed.
I should be the one to feel sorry.
I should be the one to feel guilty.
I should be the one to feel bad about myself.
and you know what? I am feeling all of those things.
I would kneel down in front of you and apologize until you forgive me.
rain or shine, I would do it.
I would do it for you.
I would do it for us.
I would really do it.
just for you to forgive me.
but hey; I know it's hard.
even I can't forgive myself for what I've done.
it ruined something I cared so much about.
it destroyed my happiness.
it ruined my faith in myself.......
it ruined my faith in you.......
but I will never stop trying to win you back.
I will do it whatever it takes to have you back in my life.
I will climb the highest mountains and swim the deepest oceans just to show you how much I care.
I will do anything.
I will do anything for you.
I will do anything to get you back.
and nothing.....
no one.....
is going to stop me from doing that.
I promise you; I will show you how much I care for you, and for what we had.
this is not the end.
this is not goodbye.
I won't give up on us, J.
love forever,
S
