January 15, 2013
Dear J,
happy birthday, J.
sorry I'm not there.
I just wanted to say that: I never wanted to offend you. and I know, that you treasured it so much.
even though it isn't mine, I just can't control myself. it's just that........... do you know how it feels when you really want something, but you know you can't because it isn't yours?
I know you're mad. I understand. that's why I'm writing this letter to you; I want things to go back to normal.
what I did makes me feel really guilty. and to be honest, I wish I didn't do it.
I never knew that a mistake so small, can ruin something so big.
I hope that things would go back to the way it was.
I know it pissed you off at some point; because what you had was something so hard to find.
I never meant to do it behind your back.
but the thing is, you can't have it forever. it will go away soon.
some nights, I would have a hard time going to sleep because what I did to you keeps wandering inside my head.
it really makes me feel bad about myself because I know that what I took from you was one of the most important things in your life.
you trusted me with something so important that if people found out, it would be gone forever.
I'm sorry; because I was the person who betrayed you.
I've known you for as long as I could remember, and I broke your trust; because I did something so wrong.
but, can we just pretend that this never happened?
this memory is tearing me apart.
I just can't hold it in anymore.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything.
I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you.
goodbye for now.
I won't give up.
I will never stop regaining your trust.
just promise me, that in the end; things will go back the way it used to be.
all the love,
S
