Zephyr Strings

Kabanata 10

"For sure, kahit tumigil ka na, marunong ka pa rin. You've been playing since you were six, right?" ani Ate Bianca.

Tumango ako. "Yes. But for sure I'm rusty already. After quitting, I played as a guitarist in a band, so I don't think—"

"Then... play a guitar with Cohen instead! It doesn't matter if it's a violin or a guitar. We want to see you play." Ngisi ni Ate Reese.

Kung kanina, kaya ko pang pigilan ang nararamdaman, ngayon, pakiramdam ko ay sobrang putla ko na. My lips trembled. I swallowed hard.

"Hmm... you still have a week to practice. It's up to you what instrument you will play. I have a friend who's good at bass and also at singing. If you decide to play a guitar, he can play with you." 

"Wow, you have a friend?" Ate Reese teased. 

What should I do? How can I decline their request? I can't do both. 

I watched my sisters bicker with each other as my thoughts started plaguing my system. Ramdam ko ang pamumuo ng aking pawis sa noo at likuran. 

"You can't even do it right?! Infuse your emotions in the melody, stupid child!"

"That's the only thing you're good at, and you still can't do it properly?! I thought you loved music. Why are you stupid?"

"The kids around your age do it well. Why can't you?! I shouldn't have put expectations on a mediocre kid like you!"

"Mom... this is not making me happy anymore. It's... suffocating. Music is suffocating me, Mom... I hate it."

"Useless!"

"Talentless brat!"

"Vic?" 

I blinked twice. "H—Huh?"

"Okay ka lang?" Ate Reese frowned in concern. 

I turned my back on them and scratched my nape with my trembling hand. "I'll think about it! Iidlip muna ako." Sa walang ganang boses kunwari habang naglalakad palayo. 

"Take your time, sister!" said her laughing voice. 

Nang makapasok sa sariling kuwarto, agad kong hinanap ang salamin at tinitigan ang repleksyon. Kumalma ako nang makita ang sarili. 

Right. I am not that child anymore. The child who was forced to do things. The child who was full of passion but ended up hating the thing she loved. I am not that child...

I gasped as my heart skipped a bit when a child, hugging a violin with bruises on her face and arms appeared beside me. Nakatitig ito sa akin, namumuo ang mga luha at tila nanghihingi ng tulong sa akin. 

"Go away..." I whispered between my heavy breathing. 

Kinuyom ko ang aking kamay at kumurap-kurap, ngunit nanatili iyon sa aking tabi, tumutulo na ang mga luha ngayon. I bit my trembling lip as I locked my eyes on her. 

This is not real. I'm just... hallucinating like usual, right? 

"Sister... help me, please? I don't want to play music anymore. Help me, please..." her small and cracking voice echoed in my mind. 

The bruises on her arms and face looked disturbing. Her under eyes looked a bit scarlet, and her lips were dry and bleeding. The sight was overbearing, and I felt like throwing up. 

"Sister... what did I do? Why does Mommy hit me just because I am not as good as the other kids?"

"Shut... up... please, shut up..." Nahihirapan kong sabi at unti-unting umatras.