Zephyr Strings

Kabanata 1

"I wish I'd never met you!"

No matter how healthy the tears she's shedding right now are, I feel nothing but resentment. My heart is slowly breaking while the view I saw that night keeps flashing in my mind.

My hands are trembling. I want to hurt her. I want to pull her hair, rip her skin, and slap her until she gets numbed. I want to make her feel how painful it is. But physical pain is nothing compared to my broken heart right now.

"Vic, it is not what you think. If you will only listen to me right now." She tried to reach out to me, but I slapped her hand before she could even touch a bit of my skin.

Her eyes widened. She looks like a fucking mess right now. Magulo ang mahabang buhok, puno ng luha ang mukha, at halos gusot na ang suot na damit. She looks pitiful. Her dark blue eyes looked so bright because of her tears. But I do feel nothing.

"What explanation, Adi? What more to explain? You're a fucking cheater!" I cried.

"No!" Maagap niyang iling at hinuli ang aking mga kamay at mahigpit iyong hinawakan. "I will never cheat on you! You're my life, Vic! You're m-my everything!"

"Shut up!" I spat, pushed her, and yanked her collar. Her lips parted. "Don't make it look like I was deluding myself that night! I hate you. I fucking hate you!" Sigaw ko at marahas siyang tinulak.

Ilang metro ang inilayo niya sa lakas ng impact noon. She gripped her collar while looking at me with stunned eyes. Some tips of her blonde hair are kissing her wet cheeks. She's looking at me as if she doesn't know what to do.

I have a lot of things to say. But right now, I am so angry. She cheated on me. She fucked a man.

"I regret the day I met you. I wish I didn't meet you! No..." I shook my head as I glared at her with quivering lips. "I wish you were dead!" I said out of anger.

I can see how she stopped breathing after I muttered those last words. Her lips flattened, and her eyes grew flimsy.

"Don't say something like that," she said, using her usual gentle tone.

I gritted my teeth. "Go to hell." I hissed as I turned my back on her.

"Ludovica!" she called me desperately.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglakad papalayo sa kaniya. She called me again and again until her voice turned out like the sound of broken vinyl. Unti-unti akong natigilan nang dumilim ang daang tinatahak ko.

This is familiar...

My eyes broadened. Mabilis akong bumaling at tinakbo ang pinanggalingan ko ngunit unti-unting kinain ng dilim ang aking mga paa hanggang sa hindi ko iyon maihakbang.

No... no... I have to go back.

"Fadia!" I screamed her name in the most desperate voice I could muster.

I gasped as my eyes opened. Habol ang hininga akong dali-daling bumangon mula sa kama, sapo ang aking dibdib. Malakas ang bawat kabog ng aking puso, tila gustong kumawala sa aking dibdib.

Kinagat ko ang nanginginig kong labi at mariing pumikit. No. I am not lonely. It was just... a dream. No. I'm not lonely. I'm fine. I am not sad.

I put my hands on the bed and gritted my teeth, stopping myself from feeling depressed over the dream I'd been having for almost a year now. I'm used to it.

Hindi ako umiyak nang mawala siya. Kaya bakit ako iiyak ngayon? Hindi ako malungkot. Everything's fine. I am just...

"Ludovica."

Nagmulat ako at nanghihinang inangat ang tingin. I pursed my lips when I met David's dark eyes. Umayos ako sa pagkakaupo at nag-iwas ng tingin. I combed my hair with my fingers.