Embrace | Demi Lovato

7

Demi

Mia is absolutely gorgeous. She has a tiny cleft on her chin, but Wilmer's nose, and his eye shape. The tiny hairs on top of her head were black, another thing she had inherited from Wilmer. She has my mouth, and hopefully my smile. I didn't want to have to bear Wilmer's smile looking at me for the rest of my life. I couldn't stop looking at her, she was so beautiful. When she woke me up at night the love in my heart prevented me from getting annoyed or frustrated. Weeks became months and I focused on Mia to fill the hole in my heart that Wilmer had once occupied. Often though, even Mia couldn't stop my heart from breaking when I saw articles about Wilmer and how he was throwing his life away. Pictures of him exposed the bags under his eyes as he stumbled out of clubs at ungodly hours of the night.

Soon, Mia's first birthday came, and I was more depressed than ever. Wilmer had missed so much. Her first words, her first steps, and now her first birthday. I knew without doubt that he would hate me if he ever found out about her. By the time Mia was done destroying the piece of cake that I had placed in front of her, she was tuckered out and leaned back in her highchair, fast asleep. I smiled and shook my head, this kid could fall asleep any place, any time. I wiped her hands and face with a wet cloth, which woke her up a bit. She clung to me as I picked her up and walked over to her bedroom and went to place her in her crib.

"No!" She whined, "No."

I smiled and stroked her cheek, "Do you want mommy to sing?"

She just looked up at me, tears shining in her eyes. She loved to sleep, but only did it on her own terms. She would only fall asleep when I wanted her to if I was singing to her. I kissed her nose, then sat in the rocking chair, holding her against my chest gently.

"Lullaby, baby blues. Time to kick off your walkin' shoes.

And hug the pillow on your bed, and lay down your sleepy head.

Hush now, no need to talk, hear the ticking of the clock.

Stars that twinkle, stars that shine, dream and you'll have wings to fly.

Goodnight, baby blue.

Close your eyes, baby blue.

The moonlit sky watches over you,

So close your eyes baby blue."

By the time I was done singing, Mia's eyes were closed and her mouth stretched out to yawn. I kissed her forehead again and sat in the chair with her for a little bit longer, watching her snuggle into my warm body. I loved these moments with her, when she was on the brink of sleep and struggling to keep her eyes open. She held onto my thumb tightly with one hand and kept wrinkling her nose then finally she would fall asleep. I kissed her again, then laid her carefully in the crib, turning on the nightlight to illuminate the room with stars. That song always put her right to sleep, while I was pregnant with her I would sing it to her every single night while I was falling asleep. I left the room and went to sit on the couch, taking one of the baby monitors with me just in case she woke up.

I turned on the new channel. I flipped through some shows that didn't spark my interest before settling on E! News. I pulled out a book I had been reading, but I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. I couldn't shake this feeling that something was terribly wrong. I sighed and stood up, going over to Mia's bedroom and peaking in. She was sleeping soundly. I sighed and held a mirror under her nose to make sure she was breathing. As I shut the door again, the feeling still hadn't gone away. I shook my head dan walked back into the living room. I had been reading for a while when Wilmer's name made me look up.

"Wilmer Valderrama has been admitted to Los Angeles Emergency Care Hospital for drug overdose. It has not been confirmed whether or not it was a suicide attempt, but as you know just a little over a year and a half ago Valderrama's long time girlfriend Demi Lovato disappeared. We'll be updating you when there is more news."

I sat up straight, my hand going to my mouth in horror. He'd overdosed. He was in the hospital because of me. I made my decision instantly, grabbing my phone and booking the first flight back to Los Angeles; it was in six hours. I snapped into action, running around and packing two suitcases, then gently taking Mia into her carrier that doubled as a car seat. I called Holly a couple of times before she answered sleepily.

"What happened?"

"Wilemr's in the hospital. I don't know what happened but I need to be there for him."

Holly gasped, "I'll be over in a few minutes, stay calm."

I hung up and buried my head into my hands. How the hell am I supposed to stay calm right now? If he doesn't pull through I'll never forgive myself. I don't even know what I would do if he died because of me. I don't know what would happen to me, to my daughter.

Holly made good on her promise, within minutes she was knocking on my door, hugging me tightly once I had opened it.

"Good you're here. I need to get to the airport."

Holly grabbed my arms, "Dems, you're sure about this, right?"

I stared at her, "What? Of course!"

She sighed, "It's just... If you do this you are going to stay there. All of this pain and healing will be a waste."

I shook my head, "None of it is a waste. I've leaned so much being here. I've learned what it's like to have been on my own, and leaving a normal life. I've learned to make friends not just for the name I have but for the person I am inside. I knew this couldn't last forever, and I think you did too."

Holly smiled, "Good. I think you're making the right decision. Now let's go get your man."

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-Rachel