Endlessly [h.s.]

twenty nine

"No! I can't! I can't do this please just stop! I can't do it!"

Tears were falling down Rosemary's cheeks rapidly, she hated herself for not being able to do simple things and having to try so many times only made her feel worse. She didn't want to continue with stupid therapy because it only made her feel awful about herself and she didn't particularly like the staff either.

One of her "supervisors" went to get Harry from the front when Rosemary had given up indefinitely. Everyone there was well aware that bringing him back helped her and so it was the first go to technique whenever she had refused to continue.

It wasn't long before a strong, familiar hand was holding her chin up, her eyes meeting with those endlessly beautiful and familiar green eyes.

There was a sad smile on his lips as he spoke to her sweetly, "Rosie, you can't get upset like this. It's going to take time and no one is going to judge you for anything you can't do sweetheart. It's okay if it doesn't work out the first time, you can always keep trying."

Rosemary's lower lip quivered as she looked at him, she hated that she was so helpless and that she cared so much when she couldn't do something and everyone was watching her, "I can't Harry, I can't do it. I've tried for three days and I feel stupid and I hate it. I hate that I can't be normal because of what the Germans caused."

Harry's thumbs wiped the tears from her cheeks gently, he knew that she was hurting but he wasn't going to let her give up and be miserable for the rest of her life, "I know sweetheart, I know. But you can't give up or you won't be able to do those normal things again. Your muscles need the work and the memory, six months of nothing causes some damage sweetheart."

The tears continued to fall from her eyes like rain, she just wanted him, she didn't want any of these other people helping her, they only made her feel bad about herself, "Why can't you just help me? I don't feel useless when you help me. I want you to help me, not these people who make me feel like an imbecile."

Harry's features softened, she knew he wasn't allowed to no matter how much he wanted to, "Rosie..."

Rosemary cried harder, she was desperate for his help or she knew that she wouldn't get much farther in her progress, "Please."

Harry's thumb rubbed her cheek gently, he decided that he would at least go talk to someone for her sake, "I'll go see what I can do sweetheart. Please keep trying."

Rosemary nodded as he pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead and walked off to go and talk with someone about her request.

They'd tried to get her to try again when he was gone but she refused to do anything until he came back with an answer. She was being more stubborn than usual and they gave up on trying to argue with her after only a few minutes.

Harry returned soon after and dropped down so that he was at her level seeing as she was in a rather short chair, "Okay Rosie, I can help you as long as I know what you're supposed to work on each day. Are you going to try for me sweetheart?"

Rosemary nodded and wiped at her eyes, she would try her very best if he would help her, "Yes."

Harry smiled at her, "That's my Rosie! So, what are we doing today?"

Rosemary frowned and looked down at her hands, "I'm supposed to try to stand and walk a few steps but I've only gotten about halfway out of the chair."

Harry offered her another smile and took her hand, "Okay, so, let's start small and just see if we can get you to stand, okay?"

Rosemary smiled at him weakly, he was an angel, "Okay."

She closed her eyes briefly and let out a deep breath before she tried to push herself up again. Her arms were stronger than expected, only because she would hold her little girl no matter what, so that was a slight advantage to this whole process.

She'd managed to get up a few inches before falling back down into the chair and frowning.

This happened about five times before she started to cry again. She absolutely hated that she couldn't do it no matter how hard that she tried. She felt old and decrepit and she was only twenty five years old. She wasn't supposed to feel that way until she was actually old and decrepit not when she was still a moderately young adult.

Harry was back at her level, he sat crouched on his knees in front of her, the pad of his thumb gently wiping the tears from her cheeks, "Rosie, sweetheart, don't cry, it's okay. You just have to keep trying. We can wait a few minutes before you try again if you want, but I know you can do it sweetheart; you just have to want it enough to push yourself more. I promise that you can do this."

His hands were gentle, as they always were, as they wiped away her tears, his lips soft as they brushed against her cheek briefly to comfort her just a bit more. His kisses had long since become a sort of medicine for her.

Rosemary closed her eyes and just breathed for a moment, focusing on all aspects of him and what she wanted to do, what he knew she could do.

"I want to try again but if it doesn't work this time I would like to go home."

Harry nodded, that was fine with him considering how many times he had seen her try, "Whatever you want sweetheart."

Rosemary waited until he stood up like before and watched her with a smile that spoke volumes. She took another deep breath and tried again, determined to do this for both him and herself.

She wanted to give up about halfway through but she looked at Harry and changed her mind.

Her muscles screamed at her as she pushed them to do what she wanted, she refused to let them be dormant any longer. She would get better.

Rosemary was standing now, her legs felt like jello but she forced them to take just a couple of steps before she started to fall, her arms instinctively going around Harry and his arms already around her, holding her up with ease.

For some reason, Rosemary still felt like she failed and cried into his chest.

Harry lifted her chin gently and smiled down brightly at her as his thumb gently wiped the tears from her cheeks, "Rosie! You did it! You don't need to cry sweetheart."

Rosemary sniffled and looked up at him with a pout on her lips, "But I didn't get to the mark like I was supposed to."

Harry laughed very lightly, that was true but she had definitely made much more progress from where she had been before, "Yes, but you stood up and took a few steps. Plus, you even wrapped your arms around me almost exactly like you used to minus a tiny bit of pressure. You really did it Rosie!"

Rosie finally smiled genuinely, his words sinking in and easing her sadness, "I did?"

Harry nodded and beamed down at her, "Yes! You did!"

Rosemary looked up at him hopefully and spoke her thoughts, "I want to kiss you but I can't step up on my toes to do that. A little help please?"

Harry gave her a rather surprised look, this marked the first time she had actually asked for help without any real reason other than the fact that she would like to kiss him, "Oh? Is my Rosie finally asking for help?"

Rosemary pouted and smacked his chest the best that she could, now he was just being annoying, "Shut up!"

Harry smiled at her softly and leaned down, their noses now touching, "I love you."

Rosemary smiled, he was her reason to keep trying as was Celestina, "I love you too."