Invisible String |

Chapter Five

"Alright, so tell me about you Alena." He said, looking at me in that way that people do when they haven't quite figured you out. I rolled my eyes.

"Not much to tell, I'm a single mother, struggling to make ends meet, my entire world revolves around her." I said, then I realized how depressing that sounded and cringed inwardly. I reached for the bottle of wine, filling my glass to the brim. I needed to calm down.

"That sounds hard. I can't imagine, your doing good though, she's happy, healthy, it's pretty clear how much you love her." He said. I nodded, shoving the pasta around on my plate with the fork.

"Well, I try you know. Having an infant is much harder than people make it out to be. Remember that next time you don't feel like wearing a condom." He laughed, not chuckled but actually laughed. He looked at me, eyes shining, I wasn't sure what he found so funny.

"Well luckily I make it a rabbit not to sleep with random girls." He said, and I wondered if he'd just appeared from planet perfect.

"Well, that makes you a gentleman." I said, taking another sip. I could feel the alcohol begin to loosen me up, the awkwardness felt as if it was fading. He shook his head. 

"Hardly, it just makes me a better person than some... not to say I haven't done things I wish I hadn't."  I laughed.

"Yeah? Well I've got an infant and a deadbeat baby daddy." I said "Talk to me about regret, I'm not one to judge." He sighed, and stood up, I watched him walk to his bookcase and remove a photo album. He opened it, and placed it in front of me. The photos depicted a wedding, it was him, and a beautiful blonde girl. He was smiling, laughing even, looking at her with all the love in the world. I raised an eyebrow.

"Your married?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Was, I was married." 

"You don't have to tell me." I said, figuring for a first dinner this was going to be a heavy conversation. 

"Her name's Sarah, we grew up together, our moms were best friends, we dated all of high school. Senior year, her mom got sick, brain cancer, her dad had already died. But on her deathbed, her mom made me promise to take care of her. So eighteen year old me thought the best way to do that was to marry her. So I did. We were happy together. For a few months then she got pregnant, so I stayed, for the baby." He said, trailing off. His mind was somewhere far away. I looked at him sadly. He continued then:

"There were complications, with labour, pre eclampsia, we'd had no idea. By the time I did know, the doctors were taking Sarah into surgery, when they returned, it was to tell me neither my wife or unborn daughter had came out of the operating room alive, and offer condolences." He said, taking a sip of his own wine. We sat there, for a moment in heavy silence. I looked at him sadly.

"I'm so sorry Noah, that must've been unbelievably hard, heartbreaking. To lose your wife and child at the same time. I'm so sorry." I said, holding Aleida tighter in my arms. He smiled at me softly.

"It's okay, I won't lie, I laid awake many nights after the night I helped you, wondering if you, and your baby made it. Hoping that this time there was something I could've done to save someone." He said, and I knew that in the moment when he'd heard me say, save the baby, he'd remembered his wife. I stood, then adjusting Aleida in my arms, he watched me stand, he looked as if he was going to ask me something. So I offered it first.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked him, the only person other than me to hold my daughter had been the nurses in the hospital. He nodded.

"If that's alright with you. I handed her to him, reminding him to support her neck. She began to cry, and it tugged at my heartstrings but I said nothing, keeping my face impassive. I cleared our dishes, washing them in the sink. I watched him watch Aleida, he looked at her how I always imagined Cesar too, I smiled inwardly. She'd stopped crying, I wondered if she felt safe with him. And smiled, hoping she did. It felt nice, to watch someone look at my child with love. Or something like it anyway.

"She's beautiful." he said softly, I nodded.

"She is." 

"So are you, you know that?" He asked me, and I laughed, I took my wine glass and sat down on the sofa, he came to join me, taking great care not to disturb my child. 

"Are you drunk?" I asked, he shook his head.

"Nope, but I mean it really." He sat down next to me, holding Aleida against his chest. We sat there, in comfortable silence. I continued drinking my wine, finishing the glass. I felt better now, less nervous. I settled back onto the couch. I watched her eyes flicker open and shut. I smiled at Noah, when I met his gaze he'd been looking at me. I wondered if it was just the wine, or if the tension in the air was real. I watched Aleida fall asleep against his chest, my heart swelled a little bit. He was holding her with an ease that surprised me, she looked so at peace in his arms, as if she belonged there. 

"Your a natural, she likes you." I murmured, he nodded. 

"She's so perfect, just like her momma." He said, and I blinked, caught of guard by the sincerity in his voice, the sureness of the statement. I ran my fingers over the brim of my empty glass.

"You don't have to say that, I'm kind of a mess nowadays." I said, he shook his head.

"I don't say things I don't mean."

I looked at him then, locking eyes. I blushed. We sat there, in silence as the minutes passed. For a moment, I felt less alone in the world. Like there was something out there for me. I must've drifted off the sleep, because when I woke up, the clock read midnight. I glanced over at Noah, blinking my eyes rapidly. He was still sitting there my daughter still safely in his arms.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. Jeez, how long have I been asleep?" I asked, my face turning beat red. He shrugged.

"I'm not sure, but I figured you needed it, you looked exhausted." I stood up then, embarrassed, and yet strangely grateful for the sleep I'd been able to get. I reached out my hands for my still sleeping daughter. He handed her to me, I took her from his arms, and grabbed the diaper bag from the floor.

"I should go, but thank you, for... just thank you." I said, he stood too, and nodded. As he opened the door for me I glanced back at him once more, my heart still beating rapidly.

"Anytime, if you ever need anything just ask, you don't have to do it alone you know?" He said, and I nodded. Once safely inside my own apartment I put Aleida to bed and curled up in my own, letting the wave of happiness pour over me as I fell asleep again.