Our love was tragic, it always had been. We would fight, a lot. And it would always end up in tears. Well he'd end up in tears and I would have to apologize to get him to stop. We rarely agreed and always ended up on opposite sides but at the end of the day, we still loved each other. After we left high school, we always stuck together. He knew what he wanted to do and so I just tagged along. But one day it was like everything changed. He got recruited. And being the young, impulsive, fiery redhead he was, he refused their offer because I couldn't go too. We were too crazy stupid in love.
They started looking more into me and decided to change their offer to recruit us both. I don't know why. Probably because I always kept my cool and did what I was told. But the offer they gave us was too attractive, it was what every kid dreamed of. We couldn't refuse. And just like that we were agents. We were set up with complete covers and they even still let us live together. I think they just figured it would be easier since we were both already involved with the same work and each other. We didn't work together often, but when we did, we had a great time. We always got the mission done, even if we had fun on the side.
And then just like that it happened. A mission went wrong and we were separated. It was completed successfully even if he had gotten captured. I still go back to that moment and wonder if we had done a better job or if I had gotten captured if things would have ended up differently in this moment. But I can't go back.
He was rescued but it wasn't for months. I so couldn't live with the way it happened that I was even forced to take a temporary leave, a leave that could've become permanent if they hadn't been able to get him back. And when he did get back, he was different. I couldn't expect him to be the same after the way they tortured him but I couldn't take the way he shut me out. Still I stopped letting him out of my sight and I barely let him out of my arms. But he was the ticking time-bomb and he was going to go off. I just didn't see it until it was too late. We were on a mission again and he essentially went awol, taking our resources and weapons.
I wanted to help him, I really did. I even requested the mission to go look for him. They gave it to me because they thought I'd have the most chance of success. But they didn't know that I was probably the worst choice. Standing here in this moment, I know that I can't bring him back. The Rin I knew is gone.
Rin smiles, showing his shark teeth, "I should've known you'd find me."
"I'm probably the only one who could." My voice was heavy. "After all, this was our spot. Somewhere only we know."
Rin was about to cry, "You came now. So where were you when I was tortured and helpless?"
The words hurt like knives and I completely deserve it. I still think that I could've done something differently on that mission. "Helpless." He just looked at me, his eyes narrowing. "They called it temporary leave, but it was more like house arrest."
Rin's expression softens, "Why?"
"Because I was reckless without you." I tell him straight, I don't know why I didn't ever say it before.
"But that's not why you're here." Rin started to get angry and raise the gun in his hand which I hadn't noticed he was holding. "You're here to bring me back to those liars. To those assholes who want to use me as bait? Who take their sweet fucking time to even help one of their own?" He accentuates each statement with gesturing the gun at me.
I know what I'm about to say is wrong and the other agents listening in might not let me finish but I have to say it. "Rin. If you want to go," I pause, "Then do it."
Rin stops. His thoughts seem to falter. I look at him and smile, I have to say all the things I should've said long ago. "We've always ended up on opposite sides and we've always fought. But after everything, I have always loved you. I want you to do what's best for you."
Tears start to fall down Rin's cheeks, he whispers quietly while still pointing the gun, "I've always loved you too."
"Then leave Rin, don't go back." I reach a hand out to him, "Use me to buy you time."
"B-but," Rin lowers his hand.
I take a small step forward and he doesn't move so I walk forward to him. I rest a hand on his cheek and bring his face up to mine. When I kiss him, it tastes like the salt of his tears. After a moment, I step back a good distance and raise my hands in a gesture of surrender. "I always knew you'd be the death of me," I smile and shrug, "And that's how I want to go."
Rin cries even harder as he raises his hand again. This is one time when I won't be able to make him stop crying. But I'll apologize anyway, because it always helped and it was all my fault. "I'm sorry Rin."
Rin takes a deep breath, his tears slowing down. He tries to smile and I know he knows exactly why I said that.
"Goodbye Sousuke."
