𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧 & 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 | 𝐁𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

Chapter Thirty Three: "Please don't judge me."

"Attitude." She giggled painfully. "Me being hurt and upset that you lied is all because I have an attitude problem. You are unbelievable."

"Giselle, please." He groaned and she smacked his chest again. Kairo grabbed the purse from her hand and threw it to the backseat so she couldn't hit him anymore.

"You know what, fuck this. I'm not doing this pathetic shit. Drop me back with Trevante, at least I know I'll be happier in his presence." Beyonce gritted out and his grip on the steering wheel tightened to the point his knuckles turned white. "Let's get one thing straight. You ain't going back to no man."

"You don't get to call the shots." She looked out the window. He grabbed her jaw, forcing her to look at him. "Did you hear me?"

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, pushing his hand away. "But only because we're too far away to turn back."

As he approached a red light, he rubbed his temples, his frustration rapidly growing. "I don't want us to argue. I know this is all my fault, just please let me fix it."

She didn't answer him, completely ignoring what he had to say. When they arrived at the rooftop restaurant in the center of Philly, Kairo parked the car and handed the valet worker the key. He grabbed Beyonce's hand but she pushed him away. Together walked inside the hotel lobby, heading to the elevators. Once they entered the elevator, he leaned on the wall facing her. His deadly gaze felt as if it was burning a hole into the side of her face. Beyonce continued to stay quiet. She would go on this date with him but that didn't mean she would talk to him or even pay him attention.

"You really gon do me like this?"

Beyoncé sucked in a much-needed breath. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she desperately missed him. Tour was already lonely enough and now she didn't have the one person she grew incredibly attached to. But Shawn showed her a relationship couldn't survive without trust and it didn't matter how much love she had for Kairo, she couldn't be with him if she couldn't trust him.

They reached the highest floor and stepped out. She shivered when he placed his hand on the small of her back once they entered the restaurant. From the open doors, rose petals were led further inside and candles were lit all around. Beyonce looked around, noticing it was just the two of them there. The entire restaurant was empty.

"Cleared it for us. I know how much you love your privacy." Kairo whispered in her ear and soon, she noticed the well-decorated table in the center. Red balloons were tied down and there was a charcuterie board with assorted fruits, cheeses, and crackers. Rose petals surrounded the table as well as massive red rose-standing bouquets. Her lips parted in shock, with the view of Philadelphia, the entire environment was beautiful. She realized she had never been spoiled like this before and this surprise put Trevante's date to shame.

The manager and a couple of waiters greeted and welcomed them. In one of the waiter's hands, he held a bottle of 1973 Petrus that cost Kairo around $4000. Once they were seated, the waiter began pouring them their two glasses. "On behalf of the restaurant, we wanted to welcome you. For tonight, our specials are the Scottish Smoked Salmon, Ham Hock Terrine served with celeriac rémoulade, and Braised Boeuf Bourguignon served with creamed potatoes. And of course, we always have our gourmet cuisine on the normal menu. Shall I give you some time to look through?"

Kairo nodded, watching as the waiter excused himself. Beyonce began looking through the menu as her stomach rumbled. She had planned to eat a while ago but her crafty ex-boyfriend seemed to ruin her plans tonight. He watched her quietly. He had been practicing what to say to her but ironically, he couldn't speak. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down and he slowly shook his head.

"Giselle, I-," He reached out and grabbed her hand over the table, rubbing his thumb on her knuckle. Then, he pulled her hand to his mouth, kissing her skin. She manually focused on her breathing while his lips touched her hand. She looked at their entangled hands once more as her cheeks reddened.

He mumbled, his voice soft and full of hope. "I miss you."

She noticed there was a certain vulnerable look in his eyes and she blinked. It was foreign to her, Trey or Ghost never was vulnerable. She pulled her hand out of his grasp, shaking her head. She returned her attention to the menu, scanning over the different options they had. His shoulders slowly dropped, she still wasn't going to talk to him.

"I've been trying to act like I'm good without you but that's far from the truth." He continued. She may have not been talking but he needed her to hear this. "I'm not good at this stuff, being in a relationship and all but I know that's not an excuse. Over these past few weeks, I've been looking at myself from the outside, trying to become a better man. I realized I needed to be more open with you so that's what I plan to do."

He sighed, caressing his stubble. He couldn't believe he was doing this but he remembered Robyn's words. He needed to be more vulnerable.

"My full name is Kairo Verlize." He stated, his voice low. "I'm 34 years old and I grew up in Compton. My pops had an affair with one of the maids in his home, Shanda, and when he found out she was pregnant, he banished her from the estate. You already know she couldn't handle raising me alone so she killed herself. I spent most of my years moving through orphan homes and when I would slaughter animals and gut their insides, they eventually moved me to mental asylums around the country."

He clenched his jaw and pulled his head down. He had never told anyone personal information before but now he knew his relationship with Beyoncé was on the line, and he would do anything to save it. She glanced up from the menu, listening to what he had to say. She removed her sunglasses, setting them on the table. He didn't believe in God or the universe but he thanked whoever was up there another chance for him to see the shade of her eyes once again. The shade of hazel.

"I never met my half-siblings or the rest of my family. I know they're all older than me. I was kept away because I was a reminder of the sin that pathetic excuse of a man committed. He only paid attention to me when I misbehaved... said something about ruining the Verlize last name. I turned to misbehaving so I could feel like I had some sort of control in my life. I wanted to experience power because it was foreign to me." He continued. "That's my truth, that's my story. I should have never lied to you and I'm sorry, Giselle. You're the most important person in my life and I don't want to lose you. You take me back, I ain't letting you go. I promise it'll be you and me. No more lies, no more secrets. I put that on my soul."

She just looked at him and subtly nodded. He didn't know what she was thinking and it was driving him crazy. Finally, she rubbed her temple. "What am I supposed to think? How do I know you won't lie about something more extreme? You could cheat on me and lie because that's what you're so good at. I-I look at you and I see Trey... I see a friend but you've seen my body-the most vulnerable part of me as Ghost. I mean, I told you I loved you which was a mistake. What could I love about you when it was all a lie? You promised me you would treat me better than Shawn only to hurt me again in the end."

Her words hit him like bricks and his throat tightened. He had thought opening up and being honest would be enough but it wasn't. He took a second to think, watching as tears washed down her cheeks. Kairo was a smart man as he always seemed to be calm and collected. But after seeing her cry because of him, he didn't know what to do.

"Giselle-," He furrowed his eyebrows together while looking down at the table. "You don't love me no more?"

She stayed silent for a moment, her voice barely audible as she whispered the next part. "I can't love an entirely new person."

Now, he felt like he was the one about to cry. He kept quiet for a moment, feeling something instead of his chest shatter. This was his first heartbreak and it was the worst thing he ever experienced and it was all his fault. Beyonce shook her head. "I stayed with Shawn for too long, enabling his poor behavior to me. I won't do it again."

"I felt like I had to do it to protect you from me. Please don't judge me." He muttered, his shoulders dropping down in defeat. She released a heavy sigh, sniffing quietly.

And they stared at each other in silence: two lovers who didn't know how to love each other.