"I don't think I can do this anymore.."
Those words hit her like a ton of bricks. It was as if they weren't just having the time of their lives a few minutes ago. Klay leaned against the dresser, legs crossed, and eyes planted on the floor.
He looked unsure of his words, like he didn't believe what he just said himself.
India sat on the bed, propped up on her knees. Brushing a hair behind her ear, she nervously bit her lip.
"Do what?", she asked, already knowing the answer.
"This..this relationship, I just can't..", he said, shaking his head.
They had been going strong for 5 months, and those have been the best five months of his life to be honest. So why was he ending it? Because he was scared. He had never been so scared in his life, up until he spent a few months with her.
"Klay, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did, but I'm so sorry. Please..", she pleaded. Tears burned her eyes, but it was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart.
"Please, don't leave me. I need you."
It pained him to see her like this, but better now then when it's too late. This predicament was too dangerous for the both of them, both of their hearts were at stake.
Klay was so scared. Scared because he had never been in love before. He knew what it felt like to love and be loved but to be in love, it was all too new to him. Although, he didn't know about being in love, there was no doubt in his mind that he was falling.
A tear streamed down his cheek, he hadn't even bothered to wipe it away.
"Klay, what did I do? Please tell me, I can fix it. I'm sorry..I'm sorry,"
The sounds of her sobs drowned out the sounds of his heart breaking.
India was now at his feet, face wet with tears, hands shaking as she reached for his hand. Thoughts ran through her mind, replaying these past days. She tried to figure out what she had done to lead up to this event. Was she too clingy? Was she not there enough? Had she been annoying? Had she been boring? She couldn't figure it out for the life of her but whatever it was she was ready to fix it. Losing him was not an option right now, or ever.
He sniffled, smiling at the short, heartbroken woman,"You have nothing to be sorry about,"
Using her sleeve to wipe away a few tears, she asked,"Then why are you doing this?"
Her eyes stared into his, searching for an answer. He exhaled deeply, cheeks filling with air as he did so. Shifting his weight as he continued to lean against the dresser, Klay eyed the 5'3, brown skinned woman.
"It's complicated.."
"You're not breaking up with me. Not with that excuse. You're going to have to give me something better than that.", she said, arms crossed over her chest, voice trembling.
"I'm falling for you..", he whispered, eyes reverting back to the carpet.
India's eyebrows furrowed, "What's wrong with that?", she questioned reaching to stroke Klay's arm.
He flinched away, causing her to frown.
"Everything,", shaking his head, he continued." I'm scared, baby girl. I'm scared to fall for you because once I do, that's it. I'm never letting go, and that's bad..really bad. The more we have, the more we have to lose. The more someone means to us, the more afraid we are of losing that person. Like..what if you realize I don't deserve you? That you can do better? What if something happens to you? What if you..if you get really sick and..and,", he bit his bottom lip, not even capable of saying that word.
"I don't know what I would do with myself. I don't know how I would live with myself. It's better that I break up with you now before this goes any further."
India ran her hand through her hair, frustration was written all over her face. Full lips pouting, nose flaring, chocolate brown eyes darkening, she was slowly losing herself.
"And you don't think I'm scared as well? Falling in love is scary, Klay. It's probably one of the most scariest things in the world. It is not all fun and games, feelings are on the line, you become vulnerable and exposed. You give your all to someone hoping, just hoping that they hold on to your heart with all their might.
You fear losing that person, and fear heartbreak, fear leaving your heart in that persons hands. That's just the risk that you have to take. But I promise you baby, I promise that it's more than worth it. If I have to take those risk being with you, I'm more than willing to take them and I mean that. I love you Klay- no scratch that, I'm in love with you, Klay Alexander Thompson."
Slipping her hands into his, their fingers intertwined. Her small fingers somehow slipped into his large ones perfectly, she had no doubt that they were meant for each other and Klay knew that as well. Standing up straight, Klay's large arms engulfed the small woman into a hug. India wasted no time wrapping her arms around his waist, inhaling the scent of his usual axe cologne, praying to God that this wasn't a goodbye hug. Praying that this wasn't the last time she'd be in his warm embrace. Salty tears stained his shirt, as the thought of him leaving her crushed her heart.
Klay rested his chin on top of her head, pink lips pressing into a thin line as the smell of her strawberry shampoo filled his nostrils. He was thinking, wondering if it really was worth it. Wondering if he was ready to put his heart on the line, wondering if he could trust her to hold it in her hands and keep it completely safe.
"You're making it really hard for me to leave.", he mumbled into her hair, his hold on her becoming tighter.
"Then don't leave. Stay."
She pulled away from the hug, lifting her head up to look at her boyfriend. Biting the inside of his cheek, he looked down at her. He raised his hand, stroking her the side of face with the back of his finger. Never had he ever felt this way about someone, she was everything he needed in a woman and if he were to leave her right now, there was no way he'd be able to find another woman like her. She is his soul mate, his other half, and life without her was impossible to think about. To think he was so close to letting her go, only because he was scared of losing her- if that makes any sense. But it was a risk he was willing to take.
"I'll stay..", he said barely above a whisper.
Her heart jumped in her chest, eyes widening as he confessed his decision to stay, "Really?"
He nodded, lips spreading into a small smile.
The brown skinned woman jumped on the light skinned man, wrapping her small legs around his torso, planting small kisses all over his face while repeatedly saying, I love you. He chuckled, dodging a few of them before she stopped, planting a sweet one on his lips.
"I love you too, baby."
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When your Klay feels start to take over...
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