Hold Me Tight

I want you

I awoke slowly to find that i was still cuddling Paul who was beginning to wake too. 'Morning honey' he said groggily and stretched out, 'Morning Paulie' i whispered and kissed him on the cheek, 'damn your sexy when you call me Paulie' he said as i playfully pushed him away and slowly got up out of the bed. 'Oh yeah?' I asked and winked at him 'want some more?' I continued trying to be a bit seductive and he got up and put his arms around my waist, 'of course i do baby' He said as he began to kiss my neck and made me moan, then he slipped two fingers inside and i screamed out his name as he whispered into my ear 'you are fucking gorgeous' which made me smile and want him even more. When he finished i smiled and said 'i'll please you tomorrow' which made him give me a cheeky smile back and then we both got ready and went downstairs to get breakfast even though it was nearly eleven. Mr McCartney was sitting in the living room reading the newspaper and i felt a bit awkward with him after last night but he smiled and said 'morning lovebirds' and i must have blushed a bit because he added 'I've made you both a cup of tea to apologise for walking in last night' which made me smile and Paul said 'oh thanks Dad, don't worry about last night' and we walked into the kitchen to get our cups of tea which has gone a bit cold and then sat down at the piano stool. 'Nice piano, do you play?' I asked Paul as i took a sip of tea, 'yeah a bit, i taught myself a few songs' he said and rested his cup on the table, then he began to play and sing,
'When i get older, loosing my hair many years from now, will you still be sending me a valentine? Birthday greeting bottle of wine. If i'd been out till quarter to three would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me when i'm sixty four' then he turned to me and i was shocked at how good he was, i figured he was alright but that was amazing. 'Paul!' I gasped 'your fantastic! Did you write that?' I gave him a hug and he told me he did write it, which made it even better, he's so talented. 'If your that good i bet your band is amazing!' I added still in shock at how he wrote and sang the song. 'nah were alright, it would be great if you could come to rehearsal but John will be there' he said as he sipped his tea, 'actually i will come, Johns not going to stop me, fuck him' i said proudly and Paul smiled and kissed my hand, 'i'm glad you said that babe, its at three today at Pete's house, so we have 3 hours until then' he said and played a few more tunes then we went to mine to drop my bag off and visit my Mom since i had been away for a whole night. I knocked on the door and waited hand in hand with Paul on the front step until Mom opened the door to us, 'Hi Jade, Hi Paul, did you have a nice time at the date?' She asked as we walked in, 'Yes thanks Mom, we went to that Italian place in town' i replied as i put down my bag in the hallway and walked into the living room. 'Good, so any plans then?' Mom asked Paul and he answered 'Well were going to my band rehearsal soon' then i cut in 'yeah, Paul's an amazing singer and he can play piano as well as guitar and writes his own songs' all in one breath, 'really?' Mom questioned Paul sounding a bit surprised, 'Yes, it's all true' he smiled and squeezed my hand. Mom made us a drink and we chatted to her for an hour and a half and then walked round to Pete's house about 30 minutes from mine. I was nervous when Pete answered, he was tall and handsome and seemed nice. 'Hi Paul' he said and welcomed us into his front room where George, Stuart, Pete's girlfriend and John were sitting on chairs by the wall, 'Oh hi Jade' George said as soon as i walked which made me feel more comfortable because George seemed alright to be honest and he called us over to some chairs by him, 'how are you' he asked and we got into a good conversation but i couldn't help noticing John looking over in our direction the whole time until he came over which was awkward. 'John, this is Jade' George said as John sat down by us and shockingly he replied 'Yeah i know George, i fucked her', Georges face fell a bit and so did mine but the worst thing was i still loved him but i had to choose between him and Paul, which was tough. I was a bit upset at him for saying that but i loved the way he was and simply replied 'yep, it was good while it lasted' which shocked george even more and made John look right at me. 'Jade, your a strange kid' John said as he smiled at me and i smiled back, staring into each others eyes, i wanted to kiss him so bad. I didn't know what to do i was in love with Paul and John and i needed to choose quickly. 'John, come outside for a chat' i said 'Paul, we'll be back in a minute don't worry', Paul nodded and carried on talking, almost like he didn't care, while John and i went outside. I could see the lust in his eyes and i wanted him so bad but we needed to talk first and i needed to sort things out in my head. 'So Jade whats the deal? Why have you brought me out here?' John asked as he glanced at me with his usual stare and suddenly i just didn't know what to say so i looked down and there was a few seconds silence until John spoke again, 'Jade will you stop fuckin' with my emotions and tell me, do you want me or not?'. The truth is i did want him but Paul gave me security and tenderness whereas John satisfied a wild side and if i tried with him then i would grow to love the way he lives and i was still infatuated with him. I twiddled the hem of my dress a bit and then spoke up 'John, i'm really attracted to you obviously but i-i-' then i burst out crying right there in front of John and slowly sat down on the step with my head in my hands, I've never felt so emotional before and especially not over boys like this. As i cried to myself i felt John come over to sit down next to me and he gently took my hand in his and lifted up my head to face him, 'Jade, the truth is i feel things for you that i never have for any other girl and it breaks my heart to see you with Paul, but i know that i will hurt you' he spoke softer than his usual quite brash tone. I wiped a tear away with my other hand and managed to squeeze out some words 'If you feel different about me then why did you not come after me?' i sounded a bit muffled but John managed to get what i was saying. 'I didn't chase you because i knew that Paul might be better for you but i missed you and your touch. Also you know that there is always going to be other girls until we settle down, like groupies and stuff, that i cant resist, but know when i am with them i still want you' John said as he looked me right in the eye yet he seemed a bit upset too, 'John i get it but please give it another go. I'll finish with Paul and we can both agree to accept that each of us is going to cheat a bit, but thats the foundation we can build on. Sounds so crazy' i spoke a bit clearer now because my tears had faded away a bit, 'But i get your crazy' John said as he leant in and kissed me on the lips to my surprise. It was only quick but it was satisfying, whereas with Paul he never quite satisfied me in the same way as John did. When we finished the little kiss we said in unison 'i need you' and instantly went back in for more, this time a longer deeper kiss where our tongues switched mouthes and butterflies flew around my stomach and John held me tight as my fingers ran through his hair. It was a beautiful moment until the door opened and we pulled away quickly, at first i thought it was Paul but then i saw it was Pete which made me feel a bit better, 'Whats going on out here then?' He said with a cheeky grin, 'oh fuck off Pete' John said a bit angrily because we never got to finish our kiss but Pete just laughed it off. 'Johnny you are a one! I wont tell Paul that you had your tongue down his birds throat but come in everyones wondering where you two are' Pete said hardly bothered at all about us kissing, so we followed him back inside and before Paul got a chance to speak they began playing a Buddy Holly song whig sounded amazing, especially John who sang fantastically, i craved to hear his voice over and over.

The practice finished at about seven and obviously Paul walked me home and asked me an abundance of questions about why John and i went outside. He still held my hand and walked close to me while doing so, 'Jade, why did you take John outside earlier?' Paul asked suspiciously and i figured it was best to be honest with him, 'Well, he was staring at me the whole time we were at Pete's so i needed to ask him if he still likes me, simple' i said trying not to smile at the thought of him. 'and does he still like you?' Paul continued asking and i had to be plainly honest now, 'Yes he does.' i plainly said as Paul looked angry mixed with concerned, 'John fucking Lennon is in love with my girlfriend, typical' he said raising his voice a little 'are you in love with him?' He continued and we stopped in the street to face each other which made me realise that i could lose either Paul or John over what i was about to say, but i said it anyway. 'yes, i am. But i'm also in love with you' i spoke quietly but Paul raised his voice 'Jade, i gave you everything, i thought we were serious but your just another girl who leads you on and leaves you after sex. Just another fucking slut', when he said that i realised that i was turning into a slut and that i cant have both of them, i needed to choose between sensitivity and security or rebellion and fun, i decided the later. 'Don't you dare call me a slut you fucking-' but it was too late he had already walked away and honestly i didn't feel the desire to chase him, it was over.