social☹ || muke

10

(Luke's pov)

((this chapter will feature concepts that may be triggering so if you are triggered easily please PLEASE do not read. I love each and every one of you and I NEVER want you to hurt your selfs))

After Luke finished texting Michael he laid down in his bed with a pained expression on his face. He was going over the conversation in his head and something was definitely wrong, he could tell.

Michael seemed detached. Like he wasn't all there just kind of replying to Luke's standards which was not a Michael thing to do. Luke also knew for a fact that Michael was not at a "family dinner". No Luke isn't a stalker(at least he doesn't think he is) but he overheard Ashton and Calum talking about how Michael had no family with him when he moved and that Michael had no plans for that night so they could go over there if they wanted.

To say Luke was worried is an understatement. Michael was his kitten and if anything happened to him Luke would be devastated.

After half an hour of worrying, Luke decided to give Michael a visit. Just to makes sure everything was okay.

As Luke approached Michael's house he could tell something was definitely wrong. Michaels front door was un locked. Michael would never leave his house unlocked even if he was there. Luke carefully opened the door to avoid creaking.

The house was relatively quiet, save for the static sound of the TV playing Australian sitcoms quietly in the corner and another sound Luke couldn't place. At first he figured that it was the cat quietly meowing but then he remember that Michael doesn't have a cat, so he ruled that one out. He got up and followed the sound as best as he could.

The only way he could describe it would be a quiet sobbing, then it registered. Luke ran up the stairs save for a couple trips and ended up in front of Michael's door. He knocked softly, trying to get his lovers attention. He tried whispering sweet nothings trough the hard wooden door to calm Michael. When the sobbing only increased in volume Luke figured he would just let him self in. Out of all the things that Luke figured he would find, a bloody Michael was not one of them.

Luke stood frozen in shock, unsure of what to do. I mean of course he's read fanfictions where one lover finds their other half sobbing on a floor blanketed in their own blood, but he never in a million years figured that it would happen to him and Michael.

Michael always seemed so happy, the least stressed out of the pair. I guess that was Michael's secret talent, pretending that everything was okay. All of these thoughts flashed through Luke's head within half a second leaving him time to kneel next to Michael.

"Mi-Michael what happened"

Sobs. Broken sobs, we're all Luke got in return.

"Michael baby where does it hurt, where are you bleeding from?"

When Michael shakily rose his head an nodded towards his wrist Luke's heart literally stopped beating. In that second that he was standing watching Michael on the floor it didn't occur to him that Michael inflicted this pain himself.

He gingerly held Michael's arm as he assessed the damage. All he could focus on was Michael's pained whimpers and the blood pouring from his wounds. Luke picked Michael up and carefully carried him to the bathroom where he proceeded to ask where the first aid kit was.

"Bo-bottom cabinet to-to your left"

As Luke started cleaning Michael's wounds he couldn't stop himself from crying.

"baby, why did you do this?"

Michael found that he didn't have it in him to answer, but he caught one look at Luke's pleading eyes and spilled everything.

"Luke, I hate myself. I really really do, so please don't tell me that I'm amazing or beautiful or worth it. I never feel happy, even when I'm with you there's a constant nagging in the back of mind saying I don't deserve this. You. I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel confident, but I don't. I'm sorry that you found me like this baby, I really am. I'm so sorry for disappointing you. Luke I'm so sorry."

Luke was momentarily stunned into silence. He had words on his tongue that wanted to be said but he couldn't. He couldn't. Finally he found the voice to whisper:

"Let me help you"

Michael looked at him with sad eyes and said

"This is something that I need to do on my own Luke. I can't have your help, I need to figure things out for myself. Having you there supporting me is enough, just please let me do this for myself okay?"

"Okay baby, whatever will make you happy I'll do." Luke's voice spoke with finality, never wavering once.

After Michael's arms were cleaned Luke took one last glance and counted all the scars. This had been going on for a while and he never noticed, what was wrong with him? How could he be a good boyfriend if he couldn't even identify his lovers struggles?

"Michael?"

"huh"

"I love you more than anything in this world, please stop doing this to yourself."

Michael gave Luke a watery smile that looked more like a grimace than a happy gesture.

"it's not that easy Luke."

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hey guys, so this chapter was a different one I'd say.
I just want you all to know that if you ever feel bad about yourself please please talk to me. I've been through the same things that some of you have so I understand. I really do. Don't hesitate to message me if you need ANYTHING.

Okay Luke @ the top his eyes match his shirt iM CRY
I am calum in the picture ngl
anywhore thanks for reading love you lot lots !
-Anya