This Is Me Without You→Johlex Fanfic

The Downfall of Johnnie

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumble. "Johnnie, I know it hurts, let's just talk about i-"

"Let's just talk about it!" I yell, coming back down the stairs to look at her, "Let's just talk about it! What does talking do, mom? I talk about it and all it does is remind me how real it is, it doesn't change anything! I'm done talking about it! I'm done talking about everything, mom. I'm done with everything!" I stomp upstairs, my hands balled up into fists, biting my bottom lip to keep from crying. I slam my door close and grab my black hoodie and my phone, figuring 56% would have to be good enough. As I'm stomping for the front door, I hear mom yelling at me, but I'm so overwhelmed, all I hear is her echoing words that can't be conceived. I slam the door close and sit on the step, pulling my hood up and covering my head as I feel a ball of emotions climbing up my throat. I clutch onto the fabric of my jacket as I sob, or, try to sob anyways. Right when I'm upset enough to cry, I realize how fed up I am with crying. I'm so tired of crying! I'm so sick of it! I stand up, pure rage taking over my body as I mumble, "To hell with it." and pick up a flower pot, slamming it onto the concrete. "JOHNNIE!" mom screams, opening the door. Her voice! Her voice is just a far away echo and it's taunting me, it's driving me crazy! I can't take this! I turn around and push her to the side, running back up to my room. I throw my phone at the wall, not caring that it sounds as if it cracked. I can't do this anymore, I'm so tried of this! I'm so tired of having to carry this burden that shouldn't be placed on me in the first place, I'm so done! And being just so fed up and so angry, I do what I promised myself I'd never do again. I go into my drawer, lift up my old blanket, and grab one of the six razors lying beneath it. Two months of carrying around all this baggage, I'm over it.

Alex's POV~

"Has he texted you yet?" my best friend, Chloe, asks. "No," I mumble. "Well, maybe he's busy planning a super hot night for you two," my other friend, Octavia, smirks. "No guys, this isn't like him. I'm gonna call him," I sigh. I stand up from the couch in Chloe's living room and go outside, standing on the porch as I call him before I can convince myself of anything else. Sure, it's 11:48 at night, but I'm hoping he's still up. I bite my lip as the phone rings eight times before I hear his sleepy, groggy voice, "What?"

"Johnnie, hey, it's just um... I've been texting you and-" I stop as I think I hear crying in the background, "Alex," he sobs. "Oh my god," I gasp, "Johnnie are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I screwed up!" he cries. I let him cry for a moment, trying to think of how to go about this before gently asking, "What do you mean, Johnnie?" I try to be as gentle as possible as I hear him explain to me the dynamics of his father's passing and the situation he had with his mother, "Then I just got so angry, you know? So sick of crying. And I... I-" he stops talking and starts crying again and that's when it becomes perfectly clear to me what he was trying to say. "Johnnie," I say his name gently, a futile attempt at calming him down, "We all have our slip-ups. We all have our downfalls and we all get overwhelmed sometimes-" I stop there as I realize I don't know where I'm going with that speech and that I'm not sure what to say. But I start to feel motivated to continue on as I realize he's not crying anymore. I open my mouth to say something when he speaks up, "That's the only reason I hang around Bryan like that, he's the closest thing to a father figure I'll ever have."

"But Johnnie you can't let people treat you like that just because you're scared. I bet if you were to stay away from Bryan and try standing on your own two feet or maybe even finding someone better, that actually treats you right, you'd be so much better off. I mean, Bryan's a nice, funny guy and all. Just not the kind of guy you should look at as a father figure." I almost whisper every word of it, "And Johnnie..."

"Yeah?" he sniffles. "I'll be here the whole time. Whenever you need me, I'll be right here." I smile and I feel like I just donated a million bucks to the world's poorest charity as the words escape my lips. "Alex..." he says my name weakly. So weakly, something inside me snaps, but I'm not sure what, "Johnnie," I say his name back. Little do I know that he's about to say the two words that will change everything. Two tiny, little words that will change life as I know it. Those two words made me feel like I might seize out right here. On July 13, 2015 at 12:36 AM on the porch of my best friend, Chloe Inglevie's house. Those two words escape his lips, "Be mine."

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WHOOOOAAA that happened fast! Also, we all need to get together and throw a party because my story got over 100 views in just 12 hoursss!!! So, to celebrate, I started thinking, and here in a few chapters though I am going to need some new characters and I thought, "What better way to find characters than to create them based off of my own readers?" so that's what I am going to do! If you are interested in this "opportunity" I would suggest you go to my profile and select "This Is Me Without You: Casting & Rules" and there you will find what you need to do to become a character and what the rules are. And I hope you guys are excited about that, because I am excited about that, so yeah, you all go do that. I am so super duper sorry if this was triggering for anyone, remember to stay strong because you are beautiful and you mean the world to someone. So, I love you all, and I'll see ya later ♥♥♥

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UPDATE!: I have deleted the Casting & Rules story, all chances of being part of the story have been eliminated due to lack of candidates

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