A time when I was not in the right state of mind, I met someone who I thought might be able to love me unconditionally . Foolish me, believing the person. No, I do not believe them fully, I make myself believe.
"TRUST ISSUE" I say,
As someone who is struggling to love themselves, it is hard to believe that I am loved. There is always something lingering around my mind, which keep destroying me. Whispers fly by through ear to ear,
they don't really care about you
they only want to take advantages of you
This is my first time being in relationship, so I keep being in denial at first whenever the person expresses their love, I was scared to fall deeper in love. What a surprise, I am already sunk into the ocean of love.
I convinced myself to be more confident to love, however once I did. The person seemed to be away from me . Loneliness greets my heart, everyday there is always a same question to ask.
"Do you really love me?" asked with shaken voice, glad for some times when the answer is :
"Of course, I love you."
Smiles were formed although there was still a piece of trust issue. That killed everything about love.
I love you
"Three words that be spoken out of your mouth, was it true ? Your words and action is opposite..." Time passed by, my love for you grew bigger, I got too attached as I feel comfortable by your side. However, a thunder storm came into our love city. Everything collapsed. Our relationships,
Staying to keep loving but the person left as they said :
"Before we got too far, better we stop here. I love you"
Leaving for our good sake,
I begged not to be left suddenly, after months we spent together,
"If you really love me, can't you just stay? we can try to fix everything?"
I argued softly, to keep this relationship but it was useless, you were serious with your decision, as I was desperate begging you to stay, you were desperate begging me to let you go. I lost to you, I accepted your wish to end everything.
As your last words for me was "sorry and bye"
I closed my eyes, in disbelief . There is no US anymore.
Entire day was blank, I did not cry, I could not actually. Too shocked to process what just had happened.
Sat by myself : I kept laughing losing my mind, my first relationship ended this way.
YOU ARE READING
VOICES OF BROKEN HEART
Non-Fictiona book of words from my heart which I cannot say directly to people, expressing everything here.
