The Art of Persuasion

Feel Me

Feel Me

I am well—never been better. I am so ecstatic that I partied all night after I saw Caleb and his new damsel. Yes! I really think I am jovial as fuck because of that such scene. Kudos to Caleb for finally replacing me! Hah—who would have thought he could actually find someone? Bravo Caleb, you win. You fucking win and it all comes down to me becoming a reckless single woman broken by the man she thought she'd be spending her life with.

So much for happy endings then, finally I got what I deserved. Reality slapped me on the face and I never thought it was this hard. I drowned myself with vodka as the light glimmered the jam-packed dance floor. I grinned and head across the floor, danced like there was no tomorrow. I swayed my hips as the beat meet my every move and I was aware that guys started to dance with me and I adore the attention. One guy started gripping my hips and placing my back onto his chest as he swayed to match my rhythm. I faced him and looked at his eyes; his eyes were soft and genuine. He smiled at me—no lust displayed in it. I was puzzled because it's too rare for a guy to become like this, mostly sa bar alam mo na agad ang habol. But this guy, this guy's unusual.

"You done staring, mon amour?" He probed and a smile escaped onto my lips. His heavy breathing and deep voice didn't actually help at all. I was sure that he has a foreign blood in him, he's tanned skin and pointed nose was the main highlight of his overall other than his jawline and long neck which I was constantly holding since he's taller than me. The rapid beat turned to a slow one and we felt like dancing.

"Don't you recognize me?" He then asked again. Since I'm such a tease, I just stared at him as I examine his face and touched his lips as we continue to sway. I admit that he looks kind of familiar. That's why when I saw him on the dance floor his aura was kind of unusual. I heard him chuckle and gently moved my hand that was touching his whole face away.

"I'm Seth, one of the managers of Mr. Ongpauco. The one who asked you for lunch noong meeting natin sa Cebu." He explained but again, I wasn't paying attention. I was still memorizing his whole face; it got me off-guard. I do remember him, siya nga yung manager sa Cebu. It already hit me back then that he's already flirting with me but I didn't expect to meet him here—with me—in a bar—while I am drunk—and we are dancing. Oh my god we are dancing and flirting and ugh hindi na ako nahiya e sila ang partners namin for the hotel in Cebu!

"I apologize Sir, I'm really really sorry. Hindi po talaga ako ganito, I just need to unwind that's all. I'm really really sorry that we have to see each other like this." I keep on apologizing and bowing my head in front of him which made me even more drunk-looking and it made me realize how idiotic I look right at that moment. I hear him chuckle and he genuinely stopped me by holding my arms since muntik na akong ma-out of balance.

"You really are drunk." He concluded as I shake my head as a sign of agreement. Umupo muna kami sa isa sa mga couch sa bar, he handed me a cup of water and aspirin para sa sakit ng ulo ko caused by too much liquor. At first, I hesitated. Hindi ko kasi marecognize kung ano yon at baka mamaya may drug pa lang kasama yung tubig, better safe than sorry even if he's one of our partners.

As soon as I got control of my vision ay nabasa kong aspirin nga talaga ang binibigay niyang gamut and other than that, he kind of sensed that I was hesitating and he made it clear that the water's completely drug-free and he even tried it.

We actually chatted for a while. No, not the work-related kind of chat but the casual one. Bigla ko tuloy naalala si Caleb, who happens to be an avid fan of professional talks. Speaking of him, why would I even think of him? Kaya nga ako nandito para mawala siya sa sistema ko pero ako rin naman ang nagbabalik.

That damn Caleb Ignatius keeps on frustrating me and I can help to blame myself either. I mean akala ko ba titigil na muna ako? I thought I was going on a break? That maybe this is the sign I have been waiting for. The white flag has been raised and it was definitely over between us. No more persuading and all—as in wala na walang-wala na. We weren't even a thing this whole two years. Ako lang naman 'tong pilit sinisiksik yung sarili ko sa kaniya, hoping na sana maitama yung katangahan ko dati.

My head was bombarded with what ifs and regrets. What if I gave him a second chance? Would we be happy by now? Magiging komplikado ba? I don't even know where to start in the first place, from the day I chose not to give him a chance to this awful night that I have drowned myself with martinis.

I felt like crying.

So I did.

Seconds later when I felt like someone's hugging me and it wasn't that long until I found out that Seth was the one responsible for it. I didn't care because I admit that I really do need someone to comfort me. Masakit kasi ng sobra, sobrang sobra yung sakit hindi na yata kaya ng dibdib ko.

Now that I have felt it, I realized that probably this was the feeling Caleb felt years ago. The art of rejection—you tried, it wasn't enough, you lose and you feel scared. Ganito pala yung feeling, yung feeling na akala mo siya na lang yung isang tao para sayo. Yung feeling na siya lang yung taong naiimagine mo na kasama mo hanggang sa huli and that same feeling that all your hopes and dreams with him has finally come to an end.

It was horrendous and traumatizing that I just buried my face on Seth's chest, praying that somehow all my tears would stop falling.

Until someone punched Seth right into his face.