Midnight

Chapter 9

     Desmond's and Olivia's ragged breathing interrupted the still silence of the forest. Snow silently washed away the world in front of them and high above the sky had begun to grey with the beginnings of dawn. Desmond collapsed onto the snow-covered ground and shivered, his thick clothing the only thing keeping him warm. Olivia slid to her knees next to him and looked over at Desmond's quivering body.

     "How did they find us?" she kept saying to herself, shaking her head.

     Desmond closed his eyes, tears freezing to his face, "It was my fault...it was my fault..."

     "What?" asked Olivia. "W-What do you mean?"

     He turned away, "I-I couldn't sleep. The night was clear so I took a walk...and a surveillance helicopter spotted me," he slammed his hand on the ground. "I don't understand! They must've sent a second round of them or something."

     Olivia stared at the ground, "Oh Desmond..."

     "Why can't I do anything right?" Desmond cried out into the wilderness. "My whole life's been spent hurting people and I...I just can't take it anymore! This all just...it just...it all just bull shit!" Desmond leaned on a tree, gasping for air and feeling like his heart had been stabbed.

     They were silent for a moment. The sky began to brighten as the sun rose, casting light into the darkest shadows. A few feet away lay Desmond's swords, the only weapons he had against the Shadow.

     "He was there," Desmond whispered with a bitter tone. "I had my chance, and I failed. This fear inside me," Desmond choked, "it's like a disease! It hinders me...it holds me back..."

     "You're beating yourself up," Olivia consoled.

     "Am I really?" Desmond countered. "Do you think I deserve an exception? Look at the man I am! When we first met you were disgusted with me. Now, even when I try, I can't even protect the people I care about most."

     "Desmond," Olivia said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "It's not your fault."

     "I wouldn't even be in the mess if I could pull my act together!" Desmond choked under his breath, desperation in his voice.

     The wind gently wafted against the trees and Desmond stared at a particular patch of bark. He felt terrible and his soul ached with the burden of having Sensei's death on his hands. Tears began to fill Desmond's eyes; he was overwhelmed with emotion. As he began to sob Olivia wrapped her arms around him in a hug. She was there for him; he was no longer alone.

     They sat there, amidst all the snow and trees, together.

     "The only person," Desmond whispered, "who, besides my father, ever believed in me was Sensei and now he's gone. What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to go on?"

     Desmond could feel his morale slipping as morning grew older. He was, just like his vision had told him, a failure.

     "Desmond...." Olivia said uneasily, "do you remember the choice you had when your parents died?"

     Desmond slowly pulled back.

     "You could've stood strong and moved on," explained Olivia. "But, instead, you could never let go. It was what ruined your life..."

     "Is this supposed to cheer me up?" asked Desmond, wiping his face.

     Olivia shook her head, "Now, you have another choice. Yes, Sensei is gone. But it's important that you don't make the same mistakes. You have to let go, and you have to give yourself a new purpose."