I hate the words
What if
Not the words themselves
But the words that always come after
Like what if everything turns out okay
Or what if we do make it
What if he does like me back
What if I don't have to worry anymore
What if
What if
What if
Don't get me wrong
Those things are not bad
It's just that
"What if"s create a false sense of hope
A foundation of security made from sand
A path of delusion
Maybe that's why the "what if"s I use
Always end up with the most broken parts of me
Like
What if it all turns out horribly
What if I never amount to anything
What if he doesn't actually love me
What if I never stop worrying
What if
What if
What if
Not that those are much better
But hey
At least I can prepare for the worst
Create my foundation by hitting rock bottom
A path that never hides its ugliness
But my "What if"s consume me
Everyday my mind fights
Between "What if-"
And "What if-"
You're not supposed to build a kingdom
From fear that's practically tangible
And yet here I am
The princess of a nation my family started for me
The nation that only stands because of "What if"s
The "What if"s prepare me for the worst
They taught me to be prepared
To be able to say that
"I know"
So I fight my own mind over who has control
The "What If"s
And the "I know"s
And just like war
The solid line between what's wrong and what's right
Becomes not so solid anymore
The "What if"s turn into "I know"s
And the "I know"s turn into "What if"s
Everything becomes fear again
Tangible fear that runs through my nation's streets
What if the war never ends
What if I fail my nation
What if all he sees is the carnage
What if the fear never goes away
What if
What if
What if
ESTÁS LEYENDO
My Unofficial Truths
PoesíaI write poetry. So you're good? I didn't say that. I write poetry. So you can rhyme? I don't always. I write poetry. So you tell stories? Every time.
