Varni

f o u r t e e n

Can't Love Myself - Monta Datta, Mishaal Tamer

The bell rang. Throughout the whole school day until now- lunchtime - my headphones were doing their job perfectly. I listened to my well missed music and not even once made the effort to listen to anyone. Surprisingly no teacher mentioned it or they simply didn't give two shits about me.

As I walked to Jared's office, I couldn't help but notice the disgusted glances from the students. It was a familiar feeling, one that had become all too common. They always seemed to give me a dirty look whenever I headed towards Jared and his office. I tried to brush it off, but it was hard not to feel a twinge of annoyance. I pushed open the door and stepped inside, letting it close behind me.

I tossed my bag onto the couch and waved at Jared, who looked up from his work on the computer. As usual, he smiled at me and went back to typing away. I couldn't help but think that it was strange - I had never seen a janitor working on a computer before. Softly smiling at my own thoughts I stared at him. I was glad to have him as my friend. The first friend ever. I never minded him not speaking as I did the same. We both enjoyed the silence and communicatated mostly with waves and smiles. 

I took a seat on the couch, it had been two days since the announcement that I was to be transferred to a juvenile facility. Friday was the deadline, and the thought of being sent away was suffocating me. I couldn't understand why they would make this decision now, after all these years. I had never done anything wrong, never harmed anyone, never killed our parents. And yet, they believed that I had. All because of Jake's lies.

As I felt the urge to use the restroom, I stood up quickly, making my way to Jared's personal bathroom, thank goodness for that. When I return from the bathroom, I take a seat on the couch again, feeling a bit more composed. I unscrewed my water bottle and took a sip, trying to wash away the bitter taste of hatred in my mouth.

Suddenly feeling really tired I decided to lay down on the couch and take a nap until lunch was over. The last thing I see was the smile creeping up Jared's face.

I'll Keep You Safe - Shiloh Beat, Shiloh Dynasty 

VARNI

I snuggled deeper into the blankets, feeling the warmth and security of being tucked in by Verenzio and Ramirez. They were always so gentle with me, making sure I was comfortable and safe. As a four-year-old, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such big brothers to take care of me.

I remembered playing with the twin brothers, Mason and Maron, and my other brother, Ricario, just an hour before. We had run around the backyard, laughing and chasing each other, until our parents had called us in for dinner. But then it was time for bed, and I was forced to go to sleep.

As I settled into my bed, Verenzio and Ramirez leaned down to kiss me goodnight. "Goodnight, little one," they whispered in unison. Romeo, the youngest of my oldest brothers, came over and hugged me tightly. He pressed his cheek against mine and whispered, "I love you until bits." It was a silly phrase he had made up, but it always made me giggle. Before I could respond Ramirez chuckled and threw him over his shoulder, leaving my bedroom. But I was too tired to be concerned about his safety.

As I drifted off to sleep, I was no longer four years old, being tucked in by my loving brothers. I was now eleven years old, and I was being beaten up by Jake.

Jake's face was twisted with anger, his eyes blazing with hatred. He was yelling at me, calling me names and hitting me again and again. I tried to defend myself, but he was too strong. I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. Which I did soon after, what felt like an eternity.