Keep Me Sane (Shizaya Fanfic)

Chapter 6: Rewind

"Can you leave us alone for a while Mr. K?" I told him in a serious tone.

Mr. K notices the heavy atmosphere and begins taking his leave. I watch him close the door and I look at Izaya. I see him standing, his eyes were a bottomless, empty black pit. I felt them piercing through me, it was like there was no soul in him. Izaya still had his hand out and it pains me not to shake it. I grit my teeth in frustration.

"Do you-" My voice was shaking, "Do you really not remember me?"

"Not at all," Izaya pulls his hand back, "Have you seen me before?"

"Of course I did," I smile miserably, "I've taken care of you, but for some reason, you don't remember anymore."

"I see," Izaya sits walks to his bed and sits cross-legged, "Say, if it's not a bother, can you tell me the memories we've shared?"

A series of memories flash in my eyes and I hold back my tears. I sit beside him on the bed.

"...Alright..." My voice croaks out.

~

Hours have passed and I've just notice that it was now night time. I realized that there were so much things that have happened when I first met him. I left out parts such as the kiss or the nickname "Shizu-chan." I see no point in telling him about this part in our relationship, it's worthless to force him into a relationship like that right after he just lost his memories.

"So..." Izaya starts off, "I was this person with two different personalities, one was a bubbly, yet sarcastic person and the other was a psychotic killing machine?" He confirms.

"That's right."

He chuckles which surprises me for a moment because for the past hours or so, he hasn't shown any emotion of some sort.

"Is it really that funny?" I pat his head.

"Of course, it's refreshing to see you talk about me, you look so happy."

"I-Is that so?" I scratch my chin and slightly blush.

"I wonder what it's like to be in your shoes and see how you view the world," Izaya stares into my eyes.

"It probably isn't that exciting, I'm sometimes viewed as a monster to other people," I force out a smile.

Izaya stays quiet for a second, "Well then that's something we both have in common."

"Possibly..."

"What if..." Izaya stares out the window, "What if I had my memories? What if I remember everything I did with you? Would you still smile like before, would you smile in pain? But I've already became a completely different person. What if you don't accept who I am right now? Do you still want to see the old Izaya? Would you rather see someone who has emotions than this freak sitting beside you?"

I couldn't even find the answers to these questions that Izaya was desperately trying to ask. I see a tear roll down his cheek and he begins to cry quietly.

"W-Why do I feel so cold inside?" He looks straight at me, "Why do I feel so emp...ty...?"

Izaya breaks down into more tears and I pull him into an embrace.

"Just remember that I'm never going to leave you. I know that somewhere deep down inside of you, you still carry the memories we've shared. I won't give you up for the world," I hug him even tighter.

~

I walked back home after my shift ended, my t-shirt was still wet from Izaya's tears. I think back to what happened today.