August 20, 1990
It was the first time I had ever sat in a classroom that didn't double as a space for Sunday School. It felt cold and monstrously enormous; however, my new guidance counselor, Ms. Charmintine, thoughtfully provided me with a set of Legos that she had picked up at a garage sale. Some of the pieces were rough around the edges and I soon found out quite a few were missing, so instead of building an incomplete design, I decided to let my imagination run slightly wild, pushing the tattered instructions to the side.
"That's interesting, Nathaniel," Ms. Charmintine said as she adjusted her bottle cap glasses. "May I ask what you're making?"
Still focused on nothing but the blocks in my hands, I replied tersely, "It's a surprise."
"Oh, I see. Well, while you put together your surprise, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"
My focus didn't waver. "Okay."
"Do you know why you're here today?"
"Is it because I'm Asian?"
Ms. Charmintine couldn't manage to stifle her chortle. Little did I know I would be making that joke for the next thirty-plus years.
"That's really funny, Nathaniel. Has anyone ever told you that you're funny?"
"My mommy says I'm a ham, starved for attention."
Ms. Charmintine flashed a smile. "And what do you think about that?"
"I'd rather be bacon instead."
Another chortle. "I like the way you think, Nathaniel. But, I do need you to know that you're here today for something called an SOI Test. It tells us where you're at, learning-wise, and it gives us an idea of what class you should be in, simply so we can be confident that your Kindergarten year will be a great one. Does that sound good to you?"
"Sure." I needed a yellow 4x2. Where was it?
Ms. Charmintine then wrote down the numbers 1 through 10 on a fresh sheet of loose-leaf notebook paper and pushed it toward me. "Do you know what these are, Nathaniel?"
I took a quick glance before returning to the more pressing issue in front of me. "Yeah, they're numbers."
"Very good, Nathaniel. But, do you notice anything special about them?"
I took another quick glance just before fitting two blocks together that would act as support in the corner of my design. "You missed a number. 7 is in the middle of 6 and 8."
Ms. Charmintine leaned back in her chair. "You're absolutely right. Nathaniel. Do you know how rare it is for someone your age to see that?"
"No, but I don't want to be rare. It's gross."
"How so?"
"I like medium-well. Rare is too bloody."
Ms. Charmintine let out a quick sigh and scratched her head. "Wow, Nathaniel. Your brain is quite exceptional." She then took a sheet of paper from a Manila envelope and slid it across the table with a black magic marker. The paper was covered in equal squares, all spaced apart evenly. "Okay, Nathaniel. I'm going to need your attention for just few minutes and then, I promise you can go back to your Legos."
I set down the blocks and looked up at her curiously. "Okay."
"Alright. I'm going to give you five minutes to make whatever you want with this paper. Now, there are no rules here. Do whatever you can think of with these squares, using this marker. You can even draw stick figures inside them. That would be perfectly fine."
