The Line Between Love

Panic Attacks

Luxe

The next week, the school holds an assembly to end the first semester of school. All the students file in and sit in the bleachers of the auditorium. The room was about the size of a football field, except it was ten times hotter with all the bodies in the room squeezed so close together. Luckily, I was sat by Cassie so at least I'm by someone I am familiar with.
    

After my parents divorced, I started to get panic attacks. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because of all the sudden change and the unpredictability and uncertainty of the future, but it just made me nervous. That, and I got claustrophobic. Once again, I don't know why, but I just did, and still do. That said, every time I get into a tight space, I get launched into a panic attack. It helps that I am sitting next to a friend, but I still have to work to keep my heart rate down and keep from flipping out.
    

The assembly wraps up and we have a free period. Everyone stands and it begins to feel all the more crowded than it was before. I look around, searching for a path out of the chaos. But instead, I spot Gray coming towards me. He reaches me and I start fidgeting with my fingers, he blocked the path I was going to take out of the bleachers and now more people are filing into said path. He seems to notice me looking past him because he takes my chin and turns my face to look at his.
    

"Hey, I asked you a question. Everything alright?" He asks me this skeptically.
    

"Mhmm..," I respond. Not so much a response, more-so a mumble.
    

"Okay... what are you doing tomorrow night?" I'm not sure why he's asking this, but I decide to answer honestly. There's no point in lying to him.
    

"Nothing." I say this to him, and suddenly everything feels more closed in, my breathing speeds up, it gets hotter in the room, and I start to tear up.

"Are you okay? You look really upset." He says this to me, his blue eyes looking genuinely concerned.
    

"Uhm. No? It's really crowded up here and I feel like I can't breathe..." I begin taking deep breaths attempting to calm myself down, but it's pointless. Tears are threatening to fall, and my heart is pounding. I try to shake out my hands, but it just gets worse. Gray grabs my hand and begins taking the fast route out of the bleachers, literally stepping in between people, not even bothering to say 'excuse me' or 'sorry.'
    

We reach the bottom of the bleachers, and he hops down pulling me with him. Being out of the bleachers, it gets a little bit easier to breathe and my heart slows a little. He takes me around the side of the bleachers and out the door into the hallway. We then turn down the hall, most likely trying to get as far away from the auditorium as possible. We turn into the library, with its endless shelves of books, and go into a private study room. Gray closes the blinds and sits me on the table, dropping my hand and standing back against the now covered window looking into the library.
    

I take a deep breath and wipe the heels of my hands over my eyes, rubbing the tears out of them. My heart goes back to its normal speed, and I look down at my legs. I wipe my hands on my shirt and close my eyes. Finally beginning to feel calm again. Gray still stands with his back against the window, giving me space. Most likely waiting for me to speak first.
    

"Sorry..." I say, hoarsely to him. He looks at me confused, his eyebrows drawing together, his blue eyes filled with more concern.
    

"Why would you be sorry? Don't be sorry." I take a deep breath and this time, my eyes well with tears of relief. I look up to the ceiling, willing my tears to absorb back into my tear ducts and to disappear. I take yet another deep breath and look back at him, cursing the tears for not leaving my eyes yet.