Fragile

46. Hiding

"Sorry mom but I promised Dahlia I'd spend the night at hers. I promise I'll eat." I say to my mom on the phone while packing a toothbrush and deodorant on my bag.

I wasn't planning on actually spending the night at Dahlia's, because me and Fox had something to discuss about. His drinking to be exact.

"But you promised to make dinner tonight with Fox?" She says sounding disappointed for my forgetfulness.

"Oh, right." I say and stop my packing to think. "I'll just make something really quick for Elijah to eat and then I'll go, is that fine?"

The line is quiet for a while before mom speaks again, "I want you to eat something before you leave, okay? Then you can go."

She speaks as if I were a toddler instead of a seventeen-year-old girl. I roll my eyes but keep my tone friendly, "Sure. Alright, bye."

I hang up, and run downstairs to see what was in the cabinets and fridge.

There was only pasta, some cheese and chicken. That would be good. Tho I was not planning on eating.

"Elijah can you come help me, I'm making you dinner!" I yell to my brother upstairs and I hear a groan.

"Do it yourself!" He annoys me.

"Get your ass here before I drag you by ear!" I yell back because I did not have the time for this.

If I wanted to go for a run and gym with Dahlia I'd have to be there at six p.m.

We'd work out for three hours, before I'd walk to Fox's and discuss about things. Not my eating problems coming back tho.

Elijah walks lazily downstairs as I'm pouring the pasta into water.

We get the pasta done in under thirty minutes, which is great since now I have extra time to workout and lose even more calories.

The hunger is slowly beginning to slow me down, making me crave food more than ever. But I know if I take even one bite, I will binge because my body isn't used to this.

Three days and the binging urge will back down. Three days I have to torture myself, but it is worth it. Then the starving will become addictive and fun.

"Go ahead." I tell Elijah and wave towards the cheesy pasta on our table.

"Won't you eat?" He glances at me.

"No I'm not hungry. And I'm going to eat at Dahlia's." I lie.

"Mom's gonna be mad if you don't eat." He mutters, but sits down and takes a good portion of food. How badly I just want a bite... But I have to resist. I will not give up my dream body. Never.

"Why do you have to tell her?" I ask.

"Why do you not eat again?" He snaps back.

"Alright just stop, I do eat." I can't let anyone have suspicion, "I'll eat it on the go. I have to leave now."

I put pasta on a paper plate, then put my sneakers on and wave goodbyes to Elijah.

"I'll spend the night at Dahlia's!" I tell him before stepping out of the door.

"Bye." He just ignores me and continues to watch some football game.

I lock the door behind me, jogging up to my neighbours' outdoor trash bin. When I make sure nobody can see me, I dump my paper plate there and say silent sorries to my neighbours again.

I can't believe I'm doing this again...

However, my guilt isn't enough to stop me and I begin jogging towards my friend's place.