Aubade

iv. bucket list.

The crystal-clear water of the ocean, the exquisite view of the sky, and the dazzling serenity of the moon are the reasons why my erratic thoughts ceased to exist and my soul and heart were pure and calm. Nothing surpasses the tranquility of glancing at the skies, which changes hue with the moon when the night is quiet and absorbs the ocean's waves when your heart yearns to be heard.

It's almost 12 AM and Enrique and I are at the beach. We decided that this time, just this time, we hang out in here; my brother approved of this as long as we're careful. "Hey, Enrique. I have a question." I called him out, which made him stop soothing the blanket we placed in the sand, with foods in the middle.

"Yeah, what is it?" He was always attentive and caring to me, to the point people who surrounds us think we're crossing the borders of friendship to lovers but I always shut it down. Enrique and I just grew closer together after a month of knowing each other. It feels like we are always meant to be friends and that we were put in this world to be in each other's lives.

"Do you have a bucket list?"

"I don't," he responded, smoothing the edge of the blanket. "Do you have one?"

"Yes," I answer without any hesitation. I used to be embarrassed about it but over time, I've realized it's not something to be embarrassed about. "It's fun to list down all the things I wanted to do in this life, and its actually satisfying when you check that particular list."

"I suppose yeah," he nodded and his eyes linger in mine for few seconds before he cleared his throat, that made my heart race, I feel like I'm melting and I'm not supposed to feel this way, no. We're mere friends. That's all. "Do you have any particular thing you want to do and somehow it involves the beach that you haven't crossed off your list?"

I've practically memorized all my lists; I wrote them when I was thirteen and added some things as I grew older. "I wanted to have like a night or midnight swimming in the beach," I conveyed, vividly remembering I wrote it when I was fifteen. "My parents wouldn't approve because its dangerous and they prefer it in the morning or afternoon, and I always wanted it at night; I just never got the chance to try."

"We could go for a swim right now," he suggested, his gaze lingering at the ocean and back at me. We are alone in here and its freezing cold. "Only if you want to."

"I would love to but I didn't bring any extra bathing suits," I responded.

"We don't need extra bathing suits," Enrique stated. "I wouldn't mind going in with my clothes but if you don't want, that's perfectly fine; we can do it another time."

The problem is, I don't know if there's still another time.

"Let's swim!" I enthusiastically said, and I started to take my shirt off.

"Are you sure?" he asked. His eyes went to the ocean and he didn't face me.

"I'm sure."

He stood up, took his shirt off above his head without even looking at me and uttered, "Race you," as he threw his shirt off the blanket and ran towards the ocean.

"Hey, that's not fair!" I shouted as I took off my shorts and ran fast to keep my pace with him. "There's not even a headcount."

"I forgot!" he shouted back, laughing as he was the first one to get in the water. It was cold when I got in, but our laughter echoes when we start splashing each other's water.

The light from the moon reflected in the ocean; it was a beautiful view. It was peaceful yet cold but I wasn't fazed by it; I was more elated to experience midnight swimming with him.

"You see that, Enrique?" I pointed at the light reflected from the moon. "I'll race you there."

"Oh, you're on!"

Like kids, we swim fast towards it, competing to be the first one to reach there, neglecting the cold water hitting our skin. I didn't know swimming at midnight was fun and it was something anyone could remember from the back of their head.

"I beat you!" I laugh, sticking my tongue out to him as I reach the illuminating light and he arrives at my side, catching his breath.

"Damn, you're fast," he uttered as he wiped his face and I caught myself examining him—the water dripping from his hair down to his toned chest, heavy breath escaping from his soft lips. I never noticed how his brown eyes were even more beautiful now that they reflected the light from the moon and how mesmerizing they were when he wasn't wearing his spectacles.

No one prepared me for how dangerous drowning is. Perhaps my parents were right that midnight swimming is dangerous, as there's a high tendency to drown, just like I was. I'm drowning, however, not in the depths of the sea but in the intensity in his eyes.

"Take a picture; it will last," Enrique smirked, which snapped me out of my trance. I can feel my cheeks burning from embarrassment and he had the audacity to smile, which deepened his godforsaken dimples.

"I think I'll pass," I lied, because the truth is, I already captured it in my mind, forever engraved with it like little pieces I couldn't forget.

Small chuckles escape from us as our gazes lock; his eyes flicker from my eyes down to my lips and go back to my eyes. I can hear my heart racing fast, my cheeks starting to turn crimson, I can feel my nervous system tingling, I can feel myself drowning in an abyss of fine lines between friends and more. 

"Take a picture; it will last." I mimicked his words earlier yet he plastered a smile as if I did something that amused him.

"I think I might just take a picture," he answered, as our promixity is too close; with one wrong move, our lips will collide. He put a strand of my hair behind my ear that covered part of my cheeks, and his soft hand stayed on my left cheek. "You have beautiful eyes, Lia."

To say that I was stunned was an understatement because I feel my mouth was sealed shut and it was evident in my reaction that the compliment was something I never thought I would hear and receive, especially from him; no one told me my eyes are beautiful.

"Thank you," was all I could say and I let my eyes wander around the view—just anything besides him. I'm afraid I'll drown in him even more and I can't let myself be in the depths of this new feeling forming in such a short period of time.

Enrique flashed a smile; lately he's been more showy on his smile when I'm around but with Claira he remained with his cold demeanor and even with his friend, Maximilian, whom I met two days ago with Claira when he used his new car to drop Enrique in the hospital.

"Tell me more about your bucket list, Lia," Enrique stated. "I can help you fulfill it."

"The list is long," I uttered. "I'm afraid I'll run out of time before I can accomplish everything on that list." My voice is strained, and it didn't help that the water is so cold that I was sure when we returned to the shore I wouldn't feel my legs.

"You're only 21, Lia," he pointed out. I subtly winced; I didn't want to be reminded of my age. "You still have lots of years ahead of you to accomplish everything on your list."

I faintly smile at him. The truth is, I don't know if I still have a lot of years ahead of me. Life can take you in a blink of an eye and no one is ever prepared for it, and I've witnessed a lot of cases like that as I've been in the hospital all the years, from my brother's on-the-job training during his undergrad to him fully working in the hospital.

"I hope so, Enrique."

At least for now, my list of swimming at midnight is officially checked.